#i'm just. really lost. and really tired. and really discouraged.
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caplanbuckybarnes · 13 hours ago
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Ink & Oath (tattoo artist!Mafiaso!Dean W.)
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Summary: Reader comes to a quaint tattoo shop to get some much needed work done to her back piece... little does she know that her entire life will change in just a few short moments.
WC: 13.5K
Warnings: mafia au,tattoo artist dean nongraphic smut, angst with a happy ending, pregnancy
Read on ao3!
A/N: i wasn't going to put this piece on tumblr, because of it being so long. Plus i'm honestly so tired of the blank blogs giving empty notes and not really giving much else. So i'm *probably* not going to keep this posted if it receives nothing but likes w/ little to no reblogs. I worked extremely hard on this piece a few days ago and it's honestly so discouraging to not get /something/ in return. Anyway, whatever.
--
You’re standing at the counter of Winchester Ink, half-annoyed and half-desperate. The sleek, industrial-style tattoo parlor is packed, and the receptionist informs you that due to their packed schedule, only 40 minutes of work can be squeezed in today. You’d planned to finally finish the intricate back piece you’d started with another artist—one who bailed on you last minute.
Agreeing to the partial session, you put down the deposit and prepare for a follow-up. The artist does incredible work, but it’s not enough to bring your tattoo to completion. When you return for your second appointment, you’re shocked to find the shop’s owner himself—Dean Winchester—waiting for you. His broad shoulders and sharp green eyes hold a glare that’s almost as intimidating as his reputation.
He explains that your rushed appointment cost him money and time—and now you owe him. But when he notices your determination and sees your unfinished ink, a mischievous smirk creeps across his face.
“Alright, sweetheart,” Dean says, leaning on his desk, “I’ve got an offer. You want your back piece done? You’re gonna work it off. Be my shop assistant for a few weeks, cover some shifts. And maybe… I’ll finish the job myself.”
The lines between professionalism and something much darker start to blur as Dean’s attention becomes far more personal than just your tattoo.
You blink at him, trying to gauge if he’s serious or just messing with you. The way his smirk deepens when you hesitate tells you he’s enjoying this way too much.
“Are you even allowed to do that?” you ask, crossing your arms.
Dean shrugs, completely unbothered. “My shop, my rules.”
You glance around the parlor, the buzzing of tattoo machines filling the space, the scent of antiseptic and ink in the air. The place is busy, artists hunched over their clients, lost in concentration. Winchester Ink has a reputation for being one of the best, and Dean Winchester himself is practically a legend. It’s an opportunity, but it also feels like a trap.
Still, you want this tattoo finished. It’s been sitting on your back like an incomplete story, haunting you every time you catch your reflection. You can’t let it stay unfinished.
With a deep breath, you square your shoulders. “Fine. I’ll do it.”
Dean grins like you just handed him the keys to your soul. “Atta girl.”
The next day, you show up, not sure what to expect. Turns out, working at a tattoo shop is nothing like you’d imagined. It’s long hours of cleaning stations, refilling ink wells, running the front desk, and dealing with clients who can’t decide on a design to save their lives.
Dean watches you like a hawk, making sure you don’t slack off, but there’s something else in his gaze too—something that makes your stomach flip. And when he finally gets you in his chair, stretching your skin taut beneath his gloved hands, the air between you shifts. His touch is precise, his focus unwavering, but every now and then, his fingers linger just a second too long.
“You sure you can handle working here, sweetheart?” he murmurs, his breath warm against your skin as he leans in, the tattoo machine whirring softly.
You lift your chin, refusing to let him see how much he affects you. “I can handle a lot more than you think, Winchester.”
His smirk returns, this time laced with something darker, something that makes your pulse stutter.
“Good,” he says, dragging the needle across your skin in a slow, deliberate stroke. “Let’s see just how much."
--
The next morning, you step into Winchester Ink, now seeing it from the other side of the counter. The usual buzz of tattoo guns fills the air, along with the scent of antiseptic and ink. Dean, already working on a client, jerks his head toward the reception desk.
“You’re on desk duty today,” he calls over his shoulder. “Phones, appointments, clean-up. Try not to scare off the customers.”
You roll your eyes but take your place, answering the phone as a biker-looking guy strolls in, flipping through the portfolio. It’s an adjustment, sure, but you settle in fast. You’re almost enjoying it—until Dean appears behind you, close enough that his breath warms your skin.
“Not bad,” he murmurs, his voice rough, teasing. “But don’t think I won’t put you to work scrubbing floors if you slack off.”
You turn to retort, only to find yourself inches from his sharp green gaze. The tension crackles between you like a live wire, and from the slow smirk spreading across his lips, he knows it too.
Maybe this deal isn’t as simple as it seemed.
The shop closes late, and you’re still sweeping up stray paper towels and discarded ink caps when Dean finally locks the front door. Most of the other artists have already left, leaving just the two of you in the dimly lit space. The buzzing neon "Winchester Ink" sign outside casts a soft blue glow through the glass, flickering faintly like it’s seen too many late nights.
“You survived day one,” Dean says, leaning against the front desk with an amused smirk. “I was half-expecting you to run out crying after dealing with that Karen who wanted a ‘spiritual wolf’ tattoo on her lower back.”
You snort. “Please, I’ve dealt with worse.”
“Yeah?” He watches you for a beat, arms crossed over his chest, his black t-shirt stretching just enough to be distracting. “Guess we’ll see if you can handle tomorrow.”
Something about the way he says it—low, laced with something unreadable—sends a slow shiver down your spine.
“You really that desperate for free labor?” you tease, tilting your head.
Dean’s smirk deepens. He steps closer, just enough that you catch the faint scent of leather and aftershave beneath the lingering ink and antiseptic.
“Nah,” he says, voice dropping a little. “I just like watching you squirm.”
Your pulse kicks up, and you hate that he can probably tell. But before you can come up with a sharp response, Dean straightens, stretching his arms behind his head like he doesn’t have a care in the world.
“Go home, sweetheart. Get some rest.” He nods toward the back. “Your tattoo’s not getting finished if you pass out on me halfway through.”
You don’t move right away. The reminder of why you’re here—why you agreed to this in the first place—grounds you, just enough to shake off the heat in your chest.
“Goodnight, boss,” you say, deliberately casual as you set the broom aside and grab your bag.
Dean just chuckles, low and knowing.
“Night, sweetheart.”
And damn him, you swear you can still feel his gaze on your back long after you’ve stepped outside.
--
Working at Winchester Ink is no joke. The shop is always packed, and between scheduling appointments, sterilizing equipment, and dealing with customers who either can’t commit or want the worst design ideas imaginable, you barely have time to breathe.
Dean? He’s a menace.
He pushes you, makes you run errands, hands you the mop at the end of every shift like it’s some kind of personal game. But the worst part? The way he watches you.
It’s not outright—nothing you could call him out on—but it’s there. A glance that lingers too long. A smirk when he brushes past you, his hand skimming your lower back like it’s an accident. And the way he says things.
"You look good behind my desk, sweetheart."
"Bet you’d look even better covered in more ink."
"Careful, sweetheart. Keep biting that lip, and I might start thinking you’re doing it for me."
It’s infuriating. Mostly because part of you likes it.
--
By the time your shift ends, your feet ache, and you’re pretty sure you have ink on your cheek. Everyone else has already left, and it’s just you and Dean—again.
“C’mere,” he says from his station. His voice is softer than usual, but there’s still that teasing edge to it.
You hesitate. “Why?”
He taps the leather tattoo chair. “You wanna get that back piece finished or what?”
Your stomach flips. “I thought we were waiting—”
Dean raises a brow. “You put in the work, didn’t you? I think you’ve earned a little progress.”
You swallow hard. This was the deal. Your tattoo. That’s why you’re here. That’s all this is.
Right?
You climb into the chair, heart hammering as Dean snaps on a fresh pair of gloves. His fingers ghost over your skin as he carefully peels back your shirt, exposing your unfinished tattoo. The cool air sends a shiver down your spine, but it’s nothing compared to the way Dean’s touch lingers, his fingertips dragging just a second longer than necessary.
“Relax,” he murmurs, voice close to your ear. “I’ll take good care of you.”
The tattoo gun hums to life, but the only thing you can focus on is him—his breath against your neck, the steady grip of his hand on your waist.
And when he starts tattooing?
You swear it has nothing to do with the ink and everything to do with the way his touch sinks under your skin.
The sharp sting of the needle drags across your skin, but it’s not the pain that makes your breath hitch—it’s him. Dean’s touch is firm, his other hand resting against your waist, grounding you. His breath ghosts over your exposed skin as he leans in closer, the scent of leather, whiskey, and something unmistakably him flooding your senses.
“You’re tense,” he murmurs, voice rough and low. “Gotta loosen up for me, sweetheart.”
The words send a jolt of heat through you, pooling low in your stomach. You grip the edges of the chair, trying to focus on the rhythmic buzz of the tattoo gun, but it’s impossible when Dean is right there, his presence overwhelming.
He works slow, deliberate, the pressure of his hand steadying you with every pass of the needle. His fingers, clad in latex, slide against your skin, adjusting your position with a touch that’s almost too gentle. And maybe you’re imagining it, maybe it’s the adrenaline, but there’s something in the way his thumb sweeps over your side—something that feels less like a professional touch and more like a test.
A challenge.
“You okay?” he asks, but there’s something smug in his tone, like he already knows the answer.
“I’m fine,” you manage, though your voice is breathier than you’d like.
Dean chuckles, and you feel it vibrate through you. “Yeah? You sure?” His voice dips lower, teasing, and then—fuck. His hand moves, sliding just a fraction higher, his thumb tracing the dip of your spine in a way that has nothing to do with the tattoo.
Your pulse hammers. You should say something, should shift away, should stop this before it goes somewhere dangerous.
But you don’t.
Instead, you let out a slow exhale, pressing just slightly into his touch. It’s barely anything, just a shift of your body, but Dean notices.
Of course, he does.
His grip tightens—not rough, but possessive. The needle lifts from your skin, and suddenly, he’s not working anymore.
You hear the quiet click of the tattoo gun shutting off, the eerie silence of the shop settling between you. Your heart pounds as Dean pulls his gloves off with a slow, deliberate snap.
Then, he leans in, lips just brushing the shell of your ear.
“I think we both know this ain’t just about the tattoo anymore.”
You swallow hard, your breath uneven. “Dean—”
“Tell me to stop,” he says, his voice nothing but a growl now. “Tell me to back off, and I will.”
But you don’t say it.
You can’t.
Instead, you turn your head just enough that your lips are a whisper away from his. The air between you crackles, electric, and then—
He kisses you.
It’s not slow. It’s not tentative. It’s everything—all that tension, all those unspoken words, poured into one desperate, claiming kiss. His hand fists in your hair, tilting your head back, his other arm sliding around your waist and pulling you against him, hard.
You gasp against his mouth, and he takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss, his tongue sliding against yours, demanding and sinful. His teeth graze your bottom lip before he sucks it between his own, and you swear you feel the heat of it all the way down to your core.
“Fuck,” you whisper when he finally pulls back, your lips swollen, breath ragged.
Dean’s eyes are dark—dangerous.
“Sweetheart,” he drawls, his fingers tracing the curve of your waist, his voice pure sin. “We’re just getting started.”
--
The air in the shop is thick with heat, the scent of ink and sweat lingering between you. Your back is still tingling—not just from the fresh tattoo, but from the way Dean had held you, touched you, ruined you right there in his chair.
You’re still catching your breath, your body limp against the leather, when you feel him shift behind you. His fingers trace over your spine, a ghost of a touch that sends another shiver down your already overstimulated body.
“Y’alright, sweetheart?” His voice is hoarse, rough with something smug and satisfied.
You manage a breathy laugh. “You really have to ask?”
Dean chuckles, and you feel the warmth of it against your bare shoulder before he presses a slow, lingering kiss there. “Just making sure you didn’t pass out on me.”
You roll your eyes, but you’re too spent to come up with a sharp retort. Instead, you sigh, shifting slightly as you feel the ache settling into your muscles.
Dean moves away, and you hear the rustle of fabric as he tugs his jeans back on. You should probably do the same, but right now, your body feels like it’s made of liquid, melted into the chair that still smells like him.
A moment later, something soft lands on your back—a towel, warm and slightly damp.
“Clean yourself up,” he murmurs, his voice softer now, rough around the edges in a way that sends another ripple of warmth through you. “I’ll grab you some water.”
You prop yourself up on one elbow, watching as he moves across the shop. His shoulders are broad, his movements lazy, like he’s entirely at ease, but there’s something else there too—something in the way he glances at you over his shoulder like he’s still thinking about what just happened.
Like maybe he’s not done with you yet.
By the time he returns, you’ve pulled your clothes back on, though your skin still hums from his touch. He hands you a bottle of water, watching as you take a few slow sips.
“So,” you say finally, breaking the silence. “This part of the standard Winchester Ink experience?”
Dean smirks, leaning against the counter, his green eyes flicking over you like he’s already plotting his next move. “Nah,” he says, voice low. “Just the VIP package.”
You snort, shaking your head. “Right.”
For a moment, neither of you speak. The weight of what just happened still lingers between you, heavy and unspoken. And maybe this should be awkward—maybe you should be freaking out, wondering what the hell this means for the deal you made, for the tattoo, for anything.
But you’re not.
Instead, you watch Dean, the way his jaw shifts slightly, the way he looks at you like he’s still hungry, and you realize something.
This isn’t over.
Not even close.
And judging by the way Dean grins at you, slow and wicked, he knows it too.
You knew something was off about Dean Winchester. No man carries himself with that much confidence—that much authority—without having something to back it up.
But nothing could have prepared you for the truth.
You’re sitting in his apartment, a loft-style space above Winchester Ink, still tangled in his sheets, wearing nothing but one of his flannel shirts. The tattoo on your back is finally finished, but that’s the least of your thoughts right now. Because Dean just told you something that should have made you run.
He’s not just a tattoo artist.
Dean Winchester owns this city. Or at least, the parts that matter.
He’s the leader of something much bigger, much darker. The kind of operation that people whisper about in hushed tones, the kind that law enforcement pretends doesn’t exist because even��they’re too scared to take him on.
And yet… you’re still here.
“You’re not saying anything,” Dean murmurs, watching you from across the room. His back is to the window, the neon glow of the city framing him in pale blues and reds. His green eyes are unreadable, but there’s tension in the way he holds himself—like he’s waiting for you to get up and walk away.
You take a deep breath, considering your words. “You just told me you run a criminal empire, Dean.”
He huffs a dry, humourless laugh. “Yeah. Guess I did.”
You tilt your head. “What do you want me to say?”
Dean studies you for a moment, then looks away, rubbing a hand over his jaw. “I don’t know. Figured you’d freak out. Maybe tell me I’m a monster.” His voice is low and rough, like he’s bracing himself for something inevitable. “Most people would.”
You take a moment, looking at him. Really looking.
And what you see isn’t just power, or danger, or the weight of everything he’s done. You see a man who has lost too much, who carries the weight of his past like a chain around his throat.
“You’re not a monster,” you say softly.
Dean’s eyes snap to yours like he wasn’t expecting that answer. “You don’t know the shit I’ve done.”
You exhale, pulling your knees to your chest. “Then tell me.”
He hesitates, his fingers twitching at his side. When he finally speaks, his voice is quieter than you’ve ever heard.
“My dad built this empire,” he says, staring out at the city. “He wasn’t a good man. He did a lot of bad things hurt a lot of people. But he kept us safe—me and my little brother, Sam. When he died, I took over. Thought I could do better, clean things up.”
You already know this story doesn’t have a happy ending.
Dean swallows, his jaw tightening. “I tried. But this life? It doesn’t let go. Sam didn’t want any part of it. Got himself a real job, a real life.” He lets out a bitter chuckle. “Thought I could keep him safe if he stayed away. But they still found him.”
Your stomach twists. “Dean…”
He exhales sharply, shaking his head. “I buried him six years ago.”
The words hang heavy in the air, and for the first time, you see it—the real Dean Winchester. The man who lost everything, who built his own empire on the bones of his past.
And yet, he told you.
He let you in.
You slide out of bed, crossing the room before he can stop you. When you reach him, you press your palm against his chest, feeling the steady, strong beat of his heart beneath your fingers.
“I’m still here,” you say softly.
Dean’s breath catches. His hands, rough and calloused, come up to cradle your face like he’s afraid you’ll disappear. His thumbs brush along your cheekbones, and when he speaks, his voice is almost pleading.
“You should be scared of me.”
You smile, just a little. “Maybe.” You lean up, brushing your lips against his. “But I’m not.”
Dean groans softly, his grip tightening, and when he kisses you, it’s different this time. Not just hunger, not just claiming.
It’s desperation.
Like he’s been drowning for years, and you’re the first breath of air he’s had in a long, long time.
Dean kisses you like he’s unravelling—like everything he’s kept buried for years is clawing its way to the surface. His fingers grip your waist, pulling you flush against him, like if he holds you tight enough, he can stop the ghosts from creeping back in.
You let him.
You let him take what he needs, because you’re still here. You don’t flinch when his hands slide lower, gripping you with a kind of desperation that has nothing to do with lust and everything to do with the fact that he’s terrified. Terrified that now that you know the truth, you’ll vanish like everyone else he’s ever cared about.
But you don’t.
Instead, you press closer, wrapping your arms around his neck, tilting your head so he can deepen the kiss. His tongue slides against yours, slow and deliberate, like he’s savoring you, like he’s memorising the way you feel against him.
His hands roam, calloused palms skating over your skin, slipping beneath the flannel you’re still wearing. When his fingers find bare skin, he exhales against your lips, his breath uneven.
“Sweetheart,” he murmurs, almost like a warning.
You pull back just enough to meet his gaze. “I’m still here, Dean.”
Something in his expression cracks, just for a second, before he fists the back of your shirt and tugs you toward him. His lips brush against your temple, your cheek, and your jaw. His breath is warm and ragged.
“You don’t know what you’re signing up for,” he mutters against your skin, his mouth ghosting along your collarbone.
“I don’t care.”
Dean stills. His grip on you tightens for half a second before he pulls back just enough to look at you, searching your face like he’s waiting for you to change your mind.
“You should care,” he says, voice rough. “People in my world don’t get happy endings.”
You reach up, fingers tracing along his jaw, feeling the tension there, the way his muscles tighten beneath your touch. “I don’t need a happy ending.” You tilt your head, letting your thumb brush the corner of his mouth. “I just need you.”
A low sound rumbles in his chest, something between a groan and a curse, before his mouth crashes back onto yours.
This time, there’s no hesitation. No restraint.
Dean takes—his lips moving against yours with purpose, his hands gripping your hips, lifting you with ease as he carries you back to the bed. The mattress dips beneath you as he lowers you onto it, his weight pressing you into the sheets, the warmth of his body chasing away the chill of the night.
“You sure about this?” he mutters against your lips, his forehead resting against yours.
You thread your fingers through his hair, tugging just enough to make him growl. “Shut up and kiss me, Winchester.”
Dean grins against your mouth before he does exactly that.
And when he claims you this time, it’s not just need—it’s something deeper, something neither of you are ready to name yet.
But it’s there.
And neither of you is letting go.
Dean doesn’t just kiss you—he devours you like he’s been starving for something real and only just realised you’re the thing he’s been craving. His hands are everywhere, sliding under the flannel you stole, gripping your thighs, tracing over the fresh ink on your back like he’s memorising the way his work looks on your skin.
The sheets are tangled around you both, the air thick with heat and the scent of him—leather, whiskey, something dark and utterly intoxicating. His mouth drags from your lips to your jaw, then down, pressing slow, open-mouthed kisses along your throat.
“I should ruin you,” he mutters, voice dark and full of something dangerous. “Make sure no one else even thinks about touching you.”
Your stomach tightens, heat pooling low in your belly. “You already have.”
Dean groans against your skin, his teeth grazing your collarbone before he sucks a bruise there—one that’ll be impossible to hide. “Damn right, I have.”
His hands are rough, calloused from years of working with them, but the way he touches you? Reverent. Like you’re something precious, something breakable—but only if you want to be.
“Tell me what you want, sweetheart,” he murmurs, his lips trailing lower, his breath hot against your skin.
You grip his hair, tugging just enough to make him look up at you, those sharp green eyes blown wide with hunger. “I want you.”
Dean doesn’t hesitate.
And when he finally gives you what you want, it’s not just sex.
It’s a claim. A promise that he is yours and yours alone.
The city hums beyond the window, but inside Dean’s apartment, everything is quiet except for the sound of your slowed breathing and the faint rustle of sheets as he pulls you against his chest.
You’re spent, muscles aching in the best way, his warmth sinking into your skin. His arm is draped over your waist, fingers tracing lazy patterns against your stomach like he’s not ready to let you go.
“Still not scared of me?” he asks, voice rough with exhaustion.
You smile against his shoulder. “No.”
Dean huffs a laugh, but when you glance up, his expression is unreadable—something guarded, something uncertain.
“I meant what I said,” he says after a moment. “This life isn’t clean. It’s not safe. Being with me? It means something. You don’t just walk away from it.”
You tilt your head, searching his face. “Are you asking me to?”
Dean’s fingers tighten against your waist. “No.” He exhales, something shifting in his gaze—something like vulnerability. “I’m asking if you can handle it.”
You reach up, pressing a slow, deliberate kiss to the scar on his shoulder, one of many marks that tell a story you’re only just starting to understand.
“I think,” you murmur against his skin, “I can handle you just fine.”
Dean makes a sound—something between a groan and a chuckle—before flipping you onto your back, caging you beneath him once more.
“Sweetheart,” he drawls, his smirk slow and wicked, “you have no idea what you’ve just signed up for.”
But the way he kisses you after?
It’s a promise.
And you’re not going anywhere.
The familiar buzz of the tattoo gun fills the air, but this time, the sound isn’t the only thing making your pulse race.
You’re back at Winchester Ink, straddling the tattoo chair, your shirt discarded, leaving only your black lace bra as Dean hovers behind you. His fingers graze your skin—not with the same desperate need as last night, but with something just as intense.
Possession.
“You sure about this, sweetheart?” His voice is low, teasing, but you can feel the weight behind it. This isn’t just any tattoo—this is his mark, something new, something permanent.
You glance over your shoulder, meeting his eyes—dark, intense, hungry—and smirk. “You gonna keep asking me that, or are you actually gonna put your money where your mouth is?”
Dean chuckles, shaking his head, but there’s something sharper behind his amusement. He leans in, his breath ghosting over the back of your neck. “Careful, sweetheart. You’re playing with fire.”
Your stomach tightens, heat curling low in your belly, but you don’t break eye contact. “Maybe I like the burn.”
Dean mutters a curse under his breath before snapping on his gloves. The scent of antiseptic and ink fills your lungs as he dips the needle, and then—
The first sting.
Your body tenses for half a second, but Dean’s free hand finds your waist, grounding you. “Breathe, baby,” he murmurs, his tone softer now, intimate. “You know the drill.”
You exhale slowly, sinking into the sensation. The pain is sharp, but it fades into something almost hypnotic, especially with the way Dean’s fingers press into your hip, steadying you.
The shop is closed—Dean made sure of that—but the thought of anyone walking in, seeing you half-dressed, stretched out beneath his hands, sends a thrill through you.
“What’s it gonna be?” you ask after a while, voice laced with curiosity. You hadn’t asked for a design, just told Dean you wanted something from him.
Dean hums, his tone smug. “Something to remind everyone who you belong to.”
Your breath catches, but you don’t argue.
You wouldn’t want it any other way.
Minutes pass, the pain blending into pleasure, and when Dean finally leans back, wiping the fresh ink clean, you swear you feel his lips brush your shoulder.
“Done,” he murmurs.
You twist to look at his work, and your stomach flips when you see it.
A small, intricate sigil—subtle, but unmistakably his. Right along your ribs, where only he would ever truly see it.
You glance up at him, your heart pounding. “That what you wanted?”
Dean peels off his gloves, tossing them aside before gripping your jaw, tilting your face up to his. His thumb brushes over your lips, his gaze dark.
“Oh, sweetheart.” His smirk is slow, dangerous. “We both know this is just the beginning.”
The tattoo still burns, a dull ache that lingers under your skin—but it’s nothing compared to the way Dean is looking at you right now.
You’re still straddling the chair, breath unsteady, your skin warm under the shop’s low lighting. The ink along your ribs feels like a brand, like a claim, and Dean? He’s drinking you in like he’s memorizing every single second of this moment.
His fingers brush over the fresh ink—featherlight, barely a touch—but it still makes you shiver.
“You like it?” His voice is rough, low, laced with something possessive.
You meet his gaze, and for a moment, there’s nothing between you but the hum of the tattoo gun, the scent of ink and antiseptic, the tension coiled thick in the air.
“I love it,” you admit, and it’s not just about the tattoo.
Dean's smirk flickers, something darker lurking beneath it. He leans in, his breath warm against your ear. “Good,” he murmurs. “Because it means you’re mine now.”
A shiver runs through you, but it’s not fear. It’s need.
You don’t pull away. Instead, you tilt your head, baring your throat just slightly—an unspoken challenge. “Oh yeah?” you tease, your voice softer now, breathless. “That what this means?”
Dean huffs a laugh, but there’s no humor in it. His fingers trail lower, over the ink, then down to your waist, pulling you forward until your chest brushes against his.
“Sweetheart,” he murmurs, eyes locked on yours, “you’ve been mine since the second you walked into this shop.”
You should push him away. Tell him he’s being ridiculous, that a tattoo doesn’t mean ownership. That he doesn’t own you.
But the truth?
You don’t want to belong to anyone else.
So instead, you smirk, dragging your nails down his chest, feeling the way his muscles tense beneath your touch. “Then maybe,” you murmur, “you should remind me.”
Dean’s grin turns wicked, his hands gripping your hips, his mouth already crashing onto yours.
And as he presses you back into the chair, the unfinished tattoos and the world outside forgotten, you realize something:
You don’t need a reminder.
You were his from the start.
--
The night is quiet—too quiet.
Winchester Ink should’ve been locked up an hour ago, but Dean insisted on keeping the doors closed while he finished some business in the back. You were wiping down the front desk, waiting for him, when the first gunshot shattered the silence.
Pop-pop-pop!
The windows explode inward, glass raining down as you instinctively duck behind the counter. Your heart slams against your ribs as tires screech outside, bullets peppering the front of the shop like a damn war zone.
Then—heavy footsteps. A voice shouting your name.
“Sweetheart!”
Dean.
He bursts in from the back, gun already drawn, his sharp green eyes scanning the chaos before landing on you. In a second, he’s in front of you, crouching low, shielding your body with his own. His breath is rough, his muscles tense, but his voice? Steady as hell.
“You okay?” he demands, his fingers curling around your wrist, checking for injuries.
“I’m fine,” you manage, swallowing back the adrenaline climbing up your throat. “Dean, what the hell—”
Another round of gunfire cuts you off.
Dean’s jaw clenches. He peeks over the counter, eyes narrowing as he counts heads outside. You follow his gaze—black SUVs, men with weapons, their faces hidden under masks.
“They’re here for you,” you whisper.
“Yeah,” he mutters darkly. “They are.”
He turns back to you, and for the first time, you see something raw in his expression—not just anger, not just control, but fear. Not for himself. For you.
“We gotta move, sweetheart,” he says, shifting so his body shields you completely. “Stay behind me. No arguments.”
You nod, your fingers curling around his jacket as he pulls you toward the back exit. His gun stays up, movements sharp, calculated. The Dean Winchester you know—the inked-up, cocky-as-hell tattoo artist—is gone. This Dean? This is the real one.
The leader. The fighter. The man who kills for the people he loves.
A shadow moves near the doorway, and Dean reacts instantly. Bang! One shot—dead center. The masked man drops without a sound.
Your breath catches. You’ve never seen him like this. Never seen death come so easily to him.
Dean turns back, his hand finding yours. “You still with me?”
You meet his eyes. Despite the gunfire, the danger, the fact that he just killed someone—you're not scared. Not of him.
“I’m with you.”
Something flickers across his face—relief, maybe—but there’s no time to dwell on it.
More men are coming.
Dean tightens his grip, pulling you close, his lips brushing your forehead before he exhales sharply. “Then let’s get the hell out of here.”
And as the two of you disappear into the night, chased by bullets and fire, you realize something.
Dean Winchester isn’t just dangerous.
He’s deadly.
And you just walked willingly into his world.
The shop smells like antiseptic and fresh ink, but beneath it lingers something metallic. Gunpowder. Blood.
Dean’s grip on your wrist is tight, dragging you through the back hallway of Winchester Ink, his jaw clenched so hard you’re surprised his teeth haven’t cracked. The shootout from earlier still echoes in your ears, your pulse hammering in your throat.
You should be scared.
But you’re not.
You should be questioning everything—how many people Dean just killed, how easily he moved, how ruthlessly he handled the ambush.
But all you can think about is the way he shielded you, how his first instinct was to grab you, tuck you against his chest, his own body between yours and the bullets.
Now, inside the safe room of the shop, he’s pacing like a caged animal, gun still clutched in his fist, blood splattered across his knuckles.
“Dean.” Your voice is steadier than you expect.
He stops, his sharp green eyes snapping to yours, wild and dark.
“I told you this would happen,” he growls, voice low, ragged. “Told you my life isn’t safe.”
You take a step toward him. “And I told you I could handle it.”
Dean exhales sharply, shaking his head, his fingers flexing like he’s trying to keep himself from reaching for you. “You don’t get it, sweetheart.” His voice is quieter now, rougher. “I kill people. Not just assholes who deserve it—anyone who’s a threat. Anyone who crosses me.”
“I know.”
His brow furrows. “Do you?”
You take another step, close enough now that you can feel the heat radiating from his body, smell the blood drying on his skin. He’s still Dean—the man who tattooed you with steady hands, the man who kisses like he’s trying to brand you, the man who just tore through enemies to keep you alive.
Your fingers graze his wrist, just above the gun. “You could’ve let me go,” you whisper. “Could’ve left me behind.”
Dean lets out a breath, harsh and uneven. “Not an option.”
You press your palm against his chest, right over his heart. “Then stop trying to scare me away.”
His control snaps.
One second, he’s standing there, tense, on edge—then his hands are on you, everywhere. Gripping your hips, dragging you flush against him, his mouth crushing against yours.
It’s not gentle. It’s desperate.
Like he needs to feel you alive, solid, beneath his hands.
“Mine,” he mutters against your lips, his voice raw. “You’re mine.”
You nod, gasping against his mouth. “Yours.”
Dean pulls back just enough to rest his forehead against yours, his breath ragged. “Then from now on, sweetheart? You stay glued to my side.”
Your lips curl into a smirk. “You just want an excuse to keep your hands on me.”
Dean huffs a laugh, his grip tightening. “Damn right I do.”
And just like that, Winchester Ink isn’t just a tattoo shop anymore.
It’s a battleground.
And you?
You’re standing right next to the king.
The aftermath of the shootout settles into a strange, electric silence. The back room of Winchester Ink feels too small, too charged. Outside, Dean’s men are cleaning up the mess—disposing of bodies, wiping down shell casings—but inside, it’s just you and him.
Your pulse hasn’t slowed since the moment the bullets started flying. You should be shaken, but instead, you’re standing in front of Dean, watching the way his chest still rises and falls too fast, his gun hanging loosely in his grip.
His knuckles are raw. Blood smears across his inked skin, a dark contrast against the swirling black designs crawling up his forearm.
He looks dangerous.
He is dangerous.
But the only thing you feel when you step closer is heat.
Dean watches you with an intensity that makes your skin prickle. His fingers twitch, like he’s deciding between pulling you closer or pushing you away.
“You’re not scared,” he finally mutters, almost accusingly.
You raise a brow. “No.”
Dean lets out a sharp breath, shaking his head. “You should be.”
You shrug. “You keep saying that.”
His jaw clenches. “Because I keep waiting for you to wake up and realize I’m not a good man, sweetheart. I’m the kind of guy people run from.”
You tilt your head, letting your gaze drag over him—the blood, the bruises forming along his jaw, the way he’s still standing between you and the door, as if another threat could come at any moment.
“You think I don’t see who you are?” you ask softly. “You think I don’t get it?”
Dean says nothing, his silence heavy.
“I know what you do. I know what this shop really is,” you continue, stepping closer until your fingers ghost over his forearm, tracing the ink there. “And I know you didn’t hesitate to put yourself between me and those bullets.”
Dean swallows hard. “That’s the problem.”
You shake your head. “No, Dean. That’s the part that tells me everything I need to know.”
His eyes search yours, something flickering behind them—uncertainty. Vulnerability. Maybe even something darker, something deeper.
“You’re not afraid of me,” he finally says, quieter now.
“No.”
He exhales slowly, shaking his head like he doesn’t quite believe you. Then, before you can say anything else, his hands are on you again—tugging, gripping, claiming. His lips crash against yours in a kiss that’s all teeth and desperation, like he’s trying to consume you.
You don’t resist.
You meet him with the same fire, your fingers threading into his hair, pulling him closer. You can taste blood on his lips, feel the way his breath stutters when you press your body against his.
Dean breaks away just enough to rest his forehead against yours, his hands flexing against your waist.
“I kill for you,” he murmurs, voice raw. “I’ll burn the whole fucking city down if it means keeping you safe.”
You don’t doubt him.
And that’s the most dangerous part of all.
It’s been months since that night—since the shootout, since Dean pulled you close, breath ragged and raw, demanding you stay with him. Since you allowed yourself to slip deeper into his world, where danger was an ever-present shadow and the line between love and possession was blurred beyond recognition.
Now, you're sitting in the back of Winchester Ink, the familiar scent of fresh ink and leather comforting in a way you didn’t expect. Your shirt is tight, stretched over the curve of your stomach. Your fingers rest lightly on it, tracing the tiny life growing inside of you.
Dean’s son.
The weight of that realization still sometimes hits you like a freight train—his blood runs through you, through the baby you’re carrying.
You’re not just his lover anymore. You’re the mother of his son.
And, God, does he make sure everyone knows it.
Everywhere you go now, there’s the unmistakable, possessive edge in the way Dean looks at you. His hands never leave you, whether he’s holding your waist or brushing his thumb over your wrist. The people in the shop, his men, they all treat you with reverence—like you’re untouchable.
Because you are. To him, anyway.
You shift on the couch, trying to get comfortable, but the weight of your growing belly makes everything feel… off. You smile softly, your hand resting again on your stomach.
“Is it kicking again?” Dean’s voice breaks through your thoughts, soft but commanding, as always.
You glance up to see him standing in the doorway, his dark eyes already on you, softened by something that could almost be called gentleness—a rare sight from the mafia king. His hands are in his pockets, but he’s still intimidating as hell, the muscles of his arms straining under the black shirt he’s wearing.
“Yeah,” you admit, a small smile tugging at your lips as you rub your stomach. “It’s starting to feel real now, you know?”
Dean crosses the room in a few long strides, his gaze never leaving you. He kneels beside you, hands instantly reaching for your stomach like they always do when he’s near. His fingers are warm, rough against your skin.
“Damn right it’s real,” he mutters, a soft grin curling his lips. “You’re carrying my heir.”
His words, so heavy with ownership, almost make you laugh, but then you feel a flutter under your palm. The baby kicks again, strong enough to make you gasp.
Dean’s face softens, his hand pressing gently against your stomach, as if he’s trying to connect with the tiny life growing inside of you.
“You feel that?” His voice is low, almost reverent.
“I do.” You smile up at him.
He’s quiet for a moment, his thumb tracing slow circles against your skin. His gaze flickers up to meet yours, and for a brief second, you see something in him that no one else gets to see: vulnerability.
“You’re not just mine now, you know.” His voice is barely above a whisper.
You raise an eyebrow, confused.
He meets your eyes, his expression fierce and possessive. “You’re carrying my son. That’s not something I take lightly.”
You know he means it. You know Dean doesn’t do lightly. He owns everything he touches, and now, he’s made you his queen.
You reach out, cupping his jaw with your hand, pulling him closer. “I know, Dean. I’m not going anywhere.”
He lets out a breath of relief, but there’s something darker, something more primal in the way he kisses you—his lips urgent against yours, demanding.
His hand moves lower, caressing the side of your belly, the other pressing against the back of your neck to pull you even closer. You melt into him, feeling his warmth, his power, and the weight of his love—of his claim—surrounding you.
You are his, and you always will be.
Dean pulls back just enough to look you in the eye, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip. “I’ll protect you. And the baby. No one will ever hurt either of you.”
You nod, smiling softly at him. “I know.”
His hand slides up to your neck, cupping your jaw, his gaze darkening. “Good.” Then, with a soft but insistent pull, he presses his lips to yours again. His kiss is rougher this time, more demanding, as though trying to make you feel the depth of his promise.
As you melt into him, you know one thing for sure:
You are his. Completely.
And no one, not even the world outside these walls, can take that from you.
--
The sterile scent of the hospital is sharp in the air, mingling with the soft beeps of machines around you. You’re propped up in a bed, your body sore from the grueling hours of labor. Your arms are still aching from where the IVs had been placed, but there’s a weight on your chest now—the kind of weight that makes everything worth it.
The small bundle in your arms—your baby, Dean’s baby—softly coos, the tiny body swaddled in a pale blue blanket. You stare down at the little face, marveling at the miracle you just created, your heart swelling with something fierce and protective.
Dean’s sitting beside you, his rough fingers lightly brushing the side of your hand, his gaze never leaving you or the baby. He hasn’t moved since the moment the baby was placed in your arms, his body radiating tension as if the world outside could suddenly break in and take everything from him. From you.
His eyes are dark, intense—like a man who’s seen too much blood to believe in peace. But the way he looks at the baby in your arms? There’s something almost gentle there, something protective and soft, like this tiny being is the only thing that could make him show any weakness at all.
It’s a weakness you know he’ll do anything to protect.
But you’re not prepared for what comes next.
The door bursts open.
Your heart skips, your hand instinctively tightening around the baby. Dean is on his feet in a second, moving so fast you barely register the movement. His body is between you and the door before the intruder has even fully entered the room.
A man—dark hair, tense shoulders—stands in the doorway, his eyes flickering quickly over Dean, then to you. He’s got a gun tucked into the waistband of his jeans, the cold metallic glint catching your eye.
Dean’s expression is pure stone, his hands already reaching for the gun hidden beneath his jacket.
“I told you,” the man says, his voice low but sharp, “the baby's the next target.”
Dean’s jaw clenches, his teeth grinding together. “Get out.” His voice is thick with menace, each word weighted with the danger of a man who has nothing left to lose.
“I don’t think you understand,” the man says, taking one step forward, the gun clearly visible now. His hand rests on it, like he's daring Dean to move. “We’ve got orders. The baby’s a liability.”
You flinch at the words, the weight of the situation settling in. You’re not just the mother of Dean’s offspring anymore. You’re a target.
Dean’s movements are so fast, you don’t even have time to react. He pulls the gun from his waistband, smooth as a snake, and in one fluid motion, he’s pointing it at the intruder’s head.
“Leave. Now.” His voice is ice-cold, every syllable laced with authority and the threat of violence. The room feels smaller, suffocating. The air is thick with the promise of danger.
The man’s hand hovers over his gun, but Dean’s eyes never waver, never falter.
“You don’t want to do this,” the man warns, a tremor of hesitation creeping into his voice.
“Last warning,” Dean growls, his finger pressing lightly on the trigger. “Get. Out.”
The man stares at Dean for a moment longer, before his gaze flickers to you—the mother of his enemy’s spawn—and then he seems to make a decision. Slowly, he backs out of the room, never breaking eye contact with Dean.
When the door clicks shut, the tension in the room snaps. Dean holsters his gun, but his body remains rigid, every muscle in his frame still coiled tight, as if he’s waiting for the next attack.
You can’t breathe.
It’s almost too much—the rush of emotions, the exhaustion from labor, the fear that still clings to you. You want to scream, but you only manage to whisper. “What was that, Dean? What the hell was that?”
Dean turns toward you, his eyes filled with something primal, his hand going straight to your side, pulling you against him. His arms envelop you like a fortress, protective and warm.
“They’ll never stop coming,” he murmurs into your hair, his voice thick with the weight of the life he’s pulled you into. “But I’ll never let them touch you. Never let them take what’s mine.”
You pull back just enough to look at him, your hand resting on his chest. “Dean…”
“Don’t say anything, sweetheart. Not right now.” His hands cradle your face, his thumb gently brushing across your cheek. “You’re not just carrying our baby anymore. You’re my queen. And anyone who thinks they can take either of you, they’ll be facing a war they don’t want.”
A chill runs through you, but it’s not just from fear. There’s something else in his voice—something deep, something dangerous.
And it’s terrifying.
But it’s also comforting.
Because you know one thing, without a doubt:
Dean Winchester doesn’t lose. Not anymore.
And neither do you.
The room falls into silence again, save for the soft breathing of the baby in your arms, a new life and a new threat, forever intertwined with Dean’s world of shadows and blood.
And you wouldn’t have it any other way.
The buzz of the tattoo machines fills the air in Winchester Ink, the low hum a familiar soundtrack to your day. Your hands are busy, one on the counter, the other moving skillfully to help a new client pick out their design. The shop is quieter than usual, but it’s still early, the door just having closed behind the last customer who left for the day. The steady rhythm of your work is a welcome distraction—until you hear the soft sound of footsteps approaching.
You glance over your shoulder, only to stop dead in your tracks.
There, standing in the middle of the shop, is Dean. But he’s not alone.
In his arms, swaddled snugly in a soft gray blanket, is your baby. The little one is asleep, content and peaceful—completely unaware of the chaos that swirled around its birth. Dean’s eyes meet yours, the same possessive look in them, but now, there’s something softer, something tender beneath the hard edge.
He takes a few steps toward the wall, his gaze never leaving you.
“I’m teaching them the family business,” Dean says, a smirk playing on his lips.
You blink, processing the words. “What?”
Dean doesn’t answer directly. Instead, he pulls a small padded wall-mounted bassinet from beside one of the stations, carefully setting it down against the tattoo wall. He adjusts a few straps, making sure the baby is securely tucked inside.
You watch, your heart skipping a beat. There’s something about the way Dean handles the baby—so careful, so deliberate—that takes you by surprise. He’s never showed much patience with anything in his life… except for this.
“Dean…” You take a step forward, a small frown creasing your brow. “What are you doing?”
He shoots you that smug grin of his, the one that drives you crazy in all the best ways. “I’m teaching them how to survive in this world. It’s not enough you’re carrying our blood. I need them to know how to handle this.”
You blink again, unsure if you’re about to laugh or scold him. "You’re setting the baby down against the tattoo wall?"
Dean’s jaw tightens slightly, his gaze flickering to the little bundle. “It’s not just any wall. It's our wall.” His voice drops lower, his eyes flashing with that dangerous glint you know too well. “You’re not the only one around here that needs to be toughened up, sweetheart.”
Before you can reply, a soft cry rings through the air, and you turn to see the baby stirring, fingers curled, lips pursed as it starts to wake.
You rush over without thinking, your heart pounding, instinct driving you as you scoop the baby into your arms.
Dean watches you for a moment, his posture still tall, like he owns the room. When your eyes meet his, there’s something in the way he looks at you—a hint of pride, mixed with something dark, something almost possessive.
The baby settles into your arms, its tiny face scrunched in that adorable way babies do when they’re just waking up. You smile softly, the weight of your love for this little one threatening to break you. But Dean’s presence beside you is like a shield, strong and unwavering, giving you strength you didn’t know you had.
“There you go,” Dean mutters, his voice softer now, his arms crossing over his chest. “Just need to toughen up a bit more, kid.”
You chuckle, shaking your head as you gently rock the baby. “You’re crazy, you know that?”
“Maybe. But in this world, we need to be.”
You raise an eyebrow, but before you can respond, a customer enters the shop—an old friend of Dean’s, someone who’s clearly seen their fair share of tattoos, judging by the sleeve of ink already visible on their arms. They’re a regular, and you’re used to handling them on your own, but today, Dean stands beside you, just a step behind, his protective aura nearly suffocating.
The client sits down in one of the chairs, and you turn your attention back to them, pulling out a design sketch from the folder. “So, you wanted something custom, right?”
Dean moves to stand just behind you, his gaze flickering from you to the client, eyes hard. His presence is imposing, like a lion lurking nearby. His fingers brush against the top of your shoulder, a subtle reminder that he’s still there.
“You’re getting the best I’ve got,” Dean mutters, his voice low enough only the client can hear. “Don’t waste my time.”
The client hesitates, looking up at him and then at you. There’s a moment of tension in the air, as if Dean’s mere presence commands their respect. They nod quickly, understanding that there’s more than just ink on the line here.
You work on the design, laying out the details, explaining the placement as you always do. The buzz of the tattoo gun fills the air, but your mind can’t help but wander back to Dean—watching, waiting, always so protective.
And when your eyes flick to the bassinet against the wall, you see Dean’s gaze fixed on the baby, the softness in his eyes evident, even if he’s trying to hide it.
The family business, he’d called it.
And as you glance at the client, then back at Dean, you realize the full extent of what that means.
You and your son are the center of Dean’s world. His empire. His everything.
And no one, not even in this room, would dare to touch you or the life you’ve built.
Dean would see to that.
---
The sun is warm on your skin, a soft breeze rustling the trees around you. For the first time in what feels like forever, you’re not in Winchester Ink, you’re not in the chaos of Dean’s world. You’re outside, in the real world, with your baby tucked safely in your arms. It’s a rare moment of peace, and you’re soaking it in.
Dean walks beside you, his presence still larger than life, but today, it feels different. The weight of his usual dominance is softer, almost protective in a way that makes you feel safe—not just from the world outside, but from him.
You glance over at him. His shirt sleeves are rolled up, showing the tattoos that run the length of his arms, his posture still straight, but his eyes are warm as he watches the baby in your arms. Every step he takes, every glance he throws your way, speaks volumes. He’s here—truly here. No business meetings, no threats, no blood spilled. Just him—Dean, your partner, and the father of your child.
"How do you feel?" he asks quietly, his voice always so gruff but softened by the moment.
You look down at your baby, whose tiny hand has wrapped around your finger, a soft coo escaping from them. You smile, looking back at Dean. "Like everything’s perfect."
Dean’s lips curl into a rare smile, one that’s softer than you’ve seen in a long time. It’s a smile that feels more genuine than any of the cold, calculated grins he gives in the tattoo shop or when he’s dealing with business.
You walk through the park, the sound of children laughing and playing around you, birds chirping overhead. It’s almost too perfect—like you’ve stepped into a moment that isn’t meant for people like Dean. People like you.
But here you are.
Dean takes a step closer, his body brushing against yours, his hand brushing against your waist protectively. His gaze flicks over your shoulder to the baby in your arms, and you feel a shiver of warmth run through you.
"I can’t believe how small they are," Dean murmurs, his voice low, almost like he’s in awe.
You smile down at the little one. "They’re only going to get bigger, you know."
Dean’s eyes meet yours, a flash of something fierce flickering in his gaze. "I’ll protect them, sweetheart. No one’s taking what’s mine. Not now. Not ever."
You chuckle softly, but there’s an edge to your voice when you reply, "I think we’re safe here. We’re just… family today."
Dean’s smile deepens, but there’s still that ever-present glint in his eyes—the reminder that no matter where you are, he’s still the king of his world. And that’s a world that’s made of blood, ink, and power.
"Family," he echoes, the word heavy on his tongue. He looks down at the baby again, his expression softening. "Yeah. This is all I care about now."
You lean into him slightly, your hand resting on his chest, feeling the strong beat of his heart beneath your palm. "You’re good at this, you know. Being a dad."
Dean’s eyebrow raises, a small, teasing smirk forming on his lips. "I wasn’t sure I’d be any good at it, but I guess I’m figuring it out." His gaze softens as he looks at the baby. "I’d kill anyone who thought otherwise."
You roll your eyes, but you can’t suppress the smile that tugs at your lips. "You really do make everything sound like a threat."
Dean chuckles, the sound rich and deep, and for a moment, you allow yourself to imagine a life like this—simple, quiet, full of moments that are just about you and him and your baby. A family.
But even as that thought swirls in your mind, you know that this peace, this quiet moment, is fleeting. Dean’s world doesn’t just let you walk away from it. It pulls you back in, no matter how hard you try to resist. And you’ve come to accept that. Because as dangerous as that world is, it’s the one where your heart beats the strongest.
And as long as Dean’s by your side, you’re ready to face it. Together.
Dean’s hand slips into yours as you both stop at a bench, the baby still in your arms, nestled comfortably against your chest. He sits down first, and you follow, sitting next to him. He wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer, his hand resting on your leg, grounding you in this rare moment of normalcy.
The world around you continues—kids laughing, families strolling by—but for you, in this moment, time stands still.
This is your family. And Dean’s right. This is all that matters.
"You’re my everything, sweetheart," Dean says softly, his lips brushing your temple. "You and the baby. I’ll never let anyone come between us."
You nod against him, breathing in the scent of him—leather, ink, and something uniquely Dean. "I know."
And for once, you allow yourself to believe it completely.
--
The sun is low in the sky now, casting a warm, golden glow over the park. You and Dean are sitting on the same bench, your toddler nestled comfortably on your lap, their small hands wrapped around a stuffed toy. The baby—who’s growing bigger by the day—rests in the stroller beside you, peacefully asleep.
It’s a rare moment of tranquility, and for once, you feel the weight of the world ease off your shoulders. The tension from the past months, from the dangers that come with being with Dean and the world he inhabits, seems to dissipate when you’re here, in this bubble of calm.
Dean’s hand rests on your thigh, his thumb absentmindedly stroking over your skin. His eyes are on you, but it’s not the usual hard stare. There’s something softer there—a vulnerability that you don’t see often. He’s been different ever since the baby arrived, a side of him you’ve been learning to understand.
You glance at him, raising an eyebrow. “What are you thinking about?”
Dean’s lips curl into a smirk, but there’s something nervous about it. “Just… you, sweetheart. You and the kids. And what I want to do next.”
Before you can ask what he means, you feel a small hand tug at your sleeve. Your toddler, wide-eyed and eager, pulls on your arm to get your attention.
“Mommy!” they say, their voice high-pitched with excitement. “Look!”
You look down, your heart melting at the sight of your toddler, holding out a small box, the velvet lining peeking through.
“Mommy,” they repeat, clearly serious. “This is for you.”
Your breath catches in your throat. You glance up at Dean, whose gaze has softened into something that makes your heart race. He’s watching you with that same intensity, but now it’s mixed with something else—something raw and honest.
You take the box from your kid, your fingers trembling slightly as you open it. Inside, nestled carefully, is a simple yet stunning ring. A diamond, elegant but not flashy, set in white gold with delicate engraving along the band. The ring that could change everything.
“Dean…” you breathe, unable to tear your eyes away from the glint of the ring. You glance back at him, your heart pounding. “What is this?”
Dean stands up, slowly, carefully, his hand reaching out for yours. He drops to one knee in front of you, his movements deliberate, measured.
“Sweetheart,” he says, his voice surprisingly gentle, “I’ve never been good with words. Never been good at this… stuff.” His gaze flicks to the toddler, who’s watching intently, their small face beaming with pride. “But I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”
You feel your heart skip a beat, your hand instinctively going to your chest. You know exactly where this is going.
“I don’t need the world, not anymore.” Dean’s voice drops even lower, his eyes never leaving yours. “All I need is you. And I want to make sure you and the kids are mine. For good. So, what do you say?”
Tears prick at the corners of your eyes as you look at him—really look at him. The man who’s seen things that would make most men break. The man who’s shown you what it means to truly care. The man who’s protected you, fought for you, and built a family with you.
“I—” You swallow, emotion thick in your throat. “Yes. Yes, Dean, I’ll marry you.”
Dean smiles—a rare, genuine smile—and slides the ring onto your finger. The weight of it, the finality, makes your heart swell. You’ve never been more sure of anything yourself. This moment, this family, this life—it’s all yours. Together.
He stands up, pulling you into his arms, the ring sparkling between you. Your toddler jumps into your arms, eager to be a part of the hug, and Dean chuckles, holding you both close.
“We’re a family,” Dean murmurs against your hair. “And we’re never going anywhere.”
You close your eyes, the world around you disappearing for a moment as you let the warmth of the moment settle in. The past, the dangers, the blood—it doesn’t matter anymore.
This is your family. And Dean’s made it clear that he will fight for it. Fight for you.
And you’d fight for him, too.
Forever.
--
It’s been years since that day in the park. Since the proposal, the wedding, the birth of your son. Time has passed, and with it, your family has only grown stronger. Your little one, once a tiny bundle, is now a teenager—tall and lean, with that same fire in their eyes that Dean has. They’ve spent their years in the tattoo shop, learning the business, the art of ink, and more importantly, the way of the Winchester world.
The shop is bustling as usual, a steady stream of clients coming in and out, getting their tattoos, chatting, and sharing their stories. But today, something feels different. You can feel the shift, the weight of the next generation taking shape. Your child—your teenager—stands at the counter, just like you once did. Their gaze flicks to Dean, who’s overseeing everything as usual, arms crossed, his intense green eyes never missing a beat.
Dean’s been watching them grow, guiding them, teaching them. Not just the art of tattoos, but the code that runs deeper than ink—that’s part of the Winchester legacy.
You’re sitting at the back, flipping through some paperwork, but your eyes can’t help but watch the scene unfold in front of you. Your son is sitting with one of the artists, learning the flow of a new design, a quiet determination in their posture. They’re like a mirror of Dean in so many ways—calm, collected, and with a sharpness that hints at something darker, something deeper.
Dean’s voice breaks through the hum of the shop, a low rumble that commands attention. “Kid,” he calls, his gaze sharp but approving. “You’re not just here to learn how to make art. You’re here to learn how to run this place. And when the time comes, it’ll be your job to make sure it stays running.”
Your son looks up at him, nodding with that same serious expression that’s so much like Dean’s. “I know, Dad.” They’re not scared. They’re not hesitant. It’s like they were born for this.
Dean nods approvingly and walks over to where your son is working. He places a hand on their shoulder—a gesture of both authority and affection. The weight of that touch is something you know all too well. It’s the same touch he’s given you, the same reassurance that says you’re mine, and I’ll make sure you know it.
You stand up from the back and move toward them, quietly observing. Your heart swells with pride, mixed with the heavy weight of the life they’re stepping into.
“Everything okay?” you ask, your voice soft but steady.
Dean glances up at you, a smile tugging at his lips. “They’re learning. Got a good head on their shoulders.”
You look at your teenager, who’s now carefully sketching out a new design, their movements swift and precise. Their concentration is unnerving, even more so than Dean’s at their age.
“You’re teaching them the ropes?” you ask, your gaze flicking to Dean.
“I’m teaching them everything,” Dean replies, his voice low and controlled. “Business, loyalty, the family code.” His eyes flicker back to your son, watching them work. “They’ve got the skill. But they need to understand what it takes to lead.”
You swallow, your heart tight in your chest. It’s not just tattoos Dean is passing on—it’s everything that comes with being in this world, with him. The mafia lifestyle, the control, the power that pulses through his veins.
You’ve seen the darkness that follows Dean everywhere, the long hours, the moments when his past comes rushing back. You’ve seen the way his eyes harden, the way he can turn from loving to lethal in an instant. And now your son is learning that same side of him—the side that can protect and destroy with equal intensity.
“Do they know what this life means?” you ask, your voice suddenly quiet, worried.
Dean’s gaze softens just for a moment. “They will. They’re not a kid anymore. They understand what we do.” His eyes shift to the teenager again. “And they’ve got what it takes to keep this legacy going. I see it in them. They’re not afraid.”
The words hit you harder than you expect, and for a brief moment, you feel a flash of the weight of it all. This life is dangerous, it’s unpredictable, and the world you’ve built together—your family, your empire—is always under threat.
But then your son looks up, meets your eyes, and gives you that small, knowing smile. It’s as if they’ve already made peace with this life, just like you and Dean have. They are part of this, and there’s no turning back.
“We’ve got your back, Mom,” they say, their voice steady. “Always.”
The words are simple, but they carry more weight than you could ever imagine. You feel a lump form in your throat, but you swallow it down.
“Just don’t forget that you’ve got to stay smart. There’s always a price,” you reply, trying to keep your voice level. “The tattoos, the ink—it’s not just art. It’s a symbol of what we stand for. You remember that, okay?”
Your son nods, their eyes filled with the same quiet confidence you’ve seen in Dean for years. “I will.”
Dean steps forward then, his arm wrapping around you, pulling you close to him. You lean into his warmth, your hand resting on his chest.
“This is their world now, too,” he murmurs against your ear. “We’ll make sure they’re ready for it.”
The weight of it presses down on you, but you know Dean’s right. This world is theirs now. The legacy is theirs to carry, to shape, and to protect.
And as you look at your son, standing so tall and unflinching in the face of everything this life demands, you know that Dean’s right about one thing: they’ve got what it takes.
The Winchester name will live on.
The night had started like any other, calm and quiet. The tattoo shop had closed for the evening, and the low hum of the neon lights outside cast a soft glow on the shop floor as you and Dean sat in the back, the baby long since tucked into bed and your teenager nowhere to be seen. The air smelled like ink and leather, a familiar comfort in the chaos of your life.
But that peace shattered in an instant.
Dean’s phone buzzed once. Then twice. Then a third time. He didn’t pick up, not yet. The silence lingered for a moment too long before you saw his posture shift—his muscles tensing, his eyes narrowing. You could feel it in the air; something was wrong.
"Dean?" you asked, but it was too late. He was already moving, pulling his phone from his pocket with a cold, calculated expression.
He answered the call.
“Where the hell are they?” Dean’s voice, usually low and measured, was tight with barely contained fury. “What do you want?”
You felt it then—the gut-wrenching, icy realization.
Your heart skipped. You were already on your feet, rushing towards him.
“Dean, what’s going on?” you asked, your voice shaky.
Dean didn’t answer you right away. His eyes were locked on the phone, his lips tight, his jaw clenched. He took a slow breath before his words hit you like a freight train.
“They’ve got our kid.”
A rush of cold terror slammed into you. Your breath hitched. “What? Who? What the hell do you mean?”
“Somebody took them. For ransom,” Dean growled, his hand tightening around the phone. "They want money, but it’s not about money. It’s never just about money."
You could see it now—the flicker of rage in Dean’s eyes. A darkness, deep and unsettling. His body was wound so tight you could practically feel the tension radiating off him. He hung up abruptly, his face pale but his eyes burning with something darker.
You took a step back, your heart pounding in your chest, your mind racing. “What do we do? Dean?”
Dean’s eyes flashed with a storm of emotions, none of them good. “We get them back. Now.”
He turned on his heel and strode toward the back of the shop, where the emergency stash of weapons was kept. You followed, heart in your throat. You knew Dean better than anyone. He was a force—calculating, ruthless, deadly—but seeing him like this, seeing that raw desperation and fury... it made your blood run cold.
“Dean, wait, let’s just—”
“No,” he interrupted sharply, the venom in his voice making you flinch. “No more talking. This isn’t some negotiation. This is personal. Whoever thought they could touch my kid is about to learn what happens when you mess with the Winchesters.”
You were barely able to keep up with him as he grabbed his gun, the sound of it clicking into place ringing in the otherwise silent room. He was already sliding on his jacket, the hard edge of his jawline like stone.
“You’re not going alone,” you said, your voice firm, no longer the shaky one you had been a moment ago.
Dean stopped, the briefest hesitation crossing his face. His eyes flicked to you, narrowing, but you saw that brief flicker of worry. It didn’t last. He took a deep breath and turned to face you.
“You’re staying here with the baby,” he ordered, his voice low and controlled. But the undercurrent of his tone betrayed him. He was barely holding it together. “You’re safer here.”
“Don’t tell me what’s safer, Dean,” you snapped, taking a step forward. “They’re our kid. I’m going with you.”
He gave you one long, unreadable look before his lips twisted into something that wasn’t quite a smile, but more of a grimace.
“You don’t get it, do you?” he muttered under his breath. “They’ve crossed a line. And I’m about to show them just how bad an idea that was.”
Before you could argue, Dean was out the door, moving fast. You had no choice but to follow.
The city streets blurred around you as you and Dean sped through the darkened roads. Dean’s knuckles were white on the wheel, his jaw clenching so tightly you thought it might break. His gaze was laser-focused on the road, but his mind was already somewhere else—somewhere far darker.
The message had been clear. The voice on the other end had been muffled, but the demand had been simple. Money, or we end them. But the truth was far more terrifying than that. Dean knew this wasn’t just a random kidnapping. This was a message.
And Dean never let messages slide.
You didn’t dare ask questions as the car whipped through the streets. Every second felt like an eternity, but Dean’s pace never faltered. You could feel the anger rolling off of him, thick and palpable. He was slipping back into that dangerous, unpredictable rhythm you knew too well.
“I’m gonna tear their fucking world apart,” Dean muttered, his voice tight with venom. “You don’t touch what’s mine and expect to walk away. No one does.”
He slammed the car to a stop in front of an old, rundown building—no lights, no signs, just a hollow shell of a place. His eyes flicked to you, once again soft for a fraction of a second. “Stay close, sweetheart. Don’t let them get to you.”
Before you could respond, Dean was out of the car, moving like a shadow—fast, calculated, lethal. You grabbed your own weapon and followed close behind. You knew, even without him saying a word, this wasn’t just about money. This was about respect. About vengeance. About showing whoever had taken your child just how badly they’d fucked up.
Inside the building, it was eerily quiet—until the sound of a door creaking open echoed through the dark. Your heart stuttered, but Dean was already at the door, his presence commanding. You could hear voices inside. One was familiar—your child’s, a little shaky but still strong.
The seconds felt like hours.
Dean motioned for you to stay low. You crouched behind him, your heart thudding in your chest as you followed his lead.
Then Dean burst through the door. The sound of gunfire rang out, deafening and sharp. It was chaos—screams, shots, but Dean was a whirlwind. He moved faster than anyone could react, gunfire flashing, bodies hitting the floor.
And then you saw them. Your child, bound to a chair in the corner of the room, looking at Dean with a mix of fear and relief.
“Dean!” you shouted, rushing to their side.
Dean had already disarmed the remaining goons, his eyes cold and dead set on the leader of the operation—a man who had made the mistake of thinking he could get away with this.
Dean was on him in an instant, grabbing the man by the collar and lifting him off his feet. “You think you can fuck with my family?” His voice was a deadly growl. The man’s eyes widened in terror.
The next few moments were a blur. The others were dealt with swiftly—brutally. Dean didn’t speak again, not until the building was clear and your child was free.
Dean walked toward you and your som, his demeanor still cold, but his hands trembling just slightly as he reached out to untie them.
“You good?” he asked, his voice gruff, but you saw the tightness in his jaw, the undercurrent of worry he was trying to hide.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Your son’s voice was steady, but you could see the relief in their eyes.
Dean looked at them, then back to you, his voice softer this time. “No one ever takes what’s ours again. Not while I’m breathing.”
And for a moment, you believed him.
It had been weeks since the nightmare ended. Since Dean stormed through that warehouse like the wrath of God himself and took back what was his. Since he’d carried your son out of that hellhole and brought them home, holding them so tightly you thought he’d never let go.
Things had settled, in the way only the Winchesters knew how—cautiously, quietly, always keeping one eye open. But the weight had lifted. Your family was whole. And today, for the first time in a long time, life felt normal.
The shop was closed for the day. No buzzing tattoo machines, no clients, no business meetings in the back with men who spoke in hushed voices. Just you, Dean, and your now fully-recovered teenager spending the day somewhere safe—somewhere untouched by the chaos of the world outside.
The park was bright and warm, sunlight filtering through the trees, kids laughing in the distance. You sat on a picnic blanket, watching as your son—your fighter—taught their younger sibling how to climb onto the jungle gym. Dean stood off to the side, arms crossed, that usual scowl on his face, but you knew him well enough to see through it. The tightness in his jaw wasn’t anger—it was pride.
“You gonna hover all day, Winchester?” you teased, nudging his arm.
Dean huffed, shaking his head. “Not hovering,” he muttered. “Just… watching.”
You raised an eyebrow, amused. “Watching for what? Squirrels?”
Dean shot you a look, but there was no real heat behind it. “You know what I mean,” he said, his voice quieter now. “After everything…” His gaze flicked back to your teenager, who was laughing as their little sibling clung onto their back, begging for a piggyback ride. “I just need to know they’re okay.”
You softened, reaching for his hand, threading your fingers through his. “They are okay, Dean. Because of you. Because of us.”
Dean let out a slow breath, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “Yeah,” he murmured, almost like he was trying to convince himself.
You squeezed his hand. “Hey. Look at them.” You tilted your head toward your kids. “They’re happy. They’re safe. They’ve got us. And nothing’s ever gonna change that.”
Dean didn’t answer right away. He just looked at you for a long moment, like he was memorizing the way you looked in the sun, how your eyes held no fear, no worry—only love.
Then, finally, the scowl eased off his face, replaced by something much softer.
“Damn right,” he said, pulling you into his side, his lips brushing against your temple. “No one’s ever taking what’s mine again.”
The wind rustled through the trees, the laughter of your children filling the air, and for the first time in what felt like forever, everything felt right. Whole.
No threats. No gunfire. No fear.
Just family. Just home. Just forever.
//this is your kind reminder to REBLOG!!//
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deplcythebattery · 5 months ago
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venting
#turns out no one will hire you if you haven't had an apprenticeship. i feel so fucking lied to#and unprepared. the course wasn't a waste in the sense it told me i could do this as a job#so it was worth it for me. i just hate that it was organized poorly and my teacher basically told me i can start my own shop when i truly#cannot. i'm not prepared. i don't know enough. so i do need an apprenticeship.#the only way to get that is to befriend piercers and i can't go to them as a customer since i'm broke and don't heal right. so i can't get#pierced by them and i don't know how else to start befriending people#so now i'm looking into remote jobs again but it's so overwhelming.#it feels like every time i find a path that feels doable the door gets slammed in my face#i'm so fucking stressed and sad and distraught i have no idea how to handle this#i'd love a front of house position in a piercing studio to start with but those are also so fucking hard to find#and i'm still just learning the language so i'm not fluent enough i won't be the first pick of several people apply#it's so disheartening. every time i think i've found my way something comes up that i don't know how to get around.#shit would be so fucking easy if i wasn't sick i could find a job doing whatever while i figure this out#but i'm too sick. if i'm lucky my sick notes will be extended til the end of the year#but i have no idea what to do after that.#been thinking about going to the unemployment office and being like yo i'm autistic and have a dr's note saying i cannot do physical jobs#can you find me a remote one#but idk if that'll help either#i'm just. really lost. and really tired. and really discouraged.#genuinely just exhausted.
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trees-can-draw · 4 months ago
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Hm.
#vent#tw vent#vent in the tags#screaming in the void#okay so.#I know I don't post regularly#and maybe it's because I switch fandoms a lot but#I just wish my art would be reblogged more#and I know that it's silly and I'm probably being annoying by saying this#but it just feels really discouraging for me to post something and get a maximum of 7 notes - if I'm lucky - most if not all of which#are likes. and don't get me wrong!! I really appreciate the likes! it's good and I'm glad you like my art!!#but this site lives off of reblogs - sharing things that you like onto your own blog so that others who could potentially also like this#can find it and share it perhaps onto their blogs#if there are only likes then nobody else gets to see it and it eventually fades into the background and get lost.#I tried reblogging my own art from a while ago cuz I thought maybe that would help but. it didn't change anything. it's still all likes#if any engagement happens at all. it's frustrating because it makes me feel like what I post isn't worth being shared.#like it's not good enough. which I know! realistically is not the case but! that doesn't stop me from feeling like it#I don't know what I'm trying to say with this. I'm not trying to force anyone or guilt trip them into reblogging#of course not. no one is obligated to do anything I just. wish more people reblogged my art because yea. I *draw* for myself#but I do *post* it with the intention of it being seen and appreciated by others#that it might bring them as much joy seeing it as it did me creating it#I'm just tired#if you've read this far thank you. I really appreciate you. I love you and I hope you have a really good day <3
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ywpd-translations · 17 days ago
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Ride 803: Kishigami Komari
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Pag 1
2: Alright, I replaced the wheel
Number 42
3: Kyofushi's Kishigami!!
4: Huh? Ah, thank you
5: Don't be discouraged!! It's a shame you fell behind because of a flat tire, but don't give up, I'm sure you still have a chance!!
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Pag 2
1: Yeah
I found something a little interesting
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Pag 3
1: He's so fast
3: The guy we just saw with a flat tire... that purple jersey...
It was the strong Kyoto Fushimi
Kyofushi!?
4: Yeah, so that means that right now ahead of us Kyofushi only have five people, hyee
They're unlucky...
Kyofushi didn't participate neither in the sprint nor in the mountain stage....
5: So this year's Kyofushi...
Yeah!! Maybe they've gotten weaker!!
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Pag 4
1: “Kishigami Komari fell behind alone because of a flat tire”
What this means is...
2: He's Midosuji's second in command
The “ace assist”
3: If someone with an important role gets a flat tires, in road racing
4: there's always at least another member who stops and waits for them
5: And then, to bring him back to the front, he'll be his windbreak and pull him
(Important player
Assist)
6: Kyofushi is a well-organized team... the fact that Komari “fell behind alone”, means...
It must mean “they have it”...!! They have it...
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Pag 5
1: This year's Kyofushi must have one more ace assist!!
3: Mi!!
4: In other words... this year's Kyofushi... is even more powerful!!
5: But the Kyofushi guys are a little scary
You're right. I can't see guess what they're thinking
6: It's best to keep rumors to a minimum
Kishigami, the one who had a flat tire and fell behind
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Pag 6
1: Has already caught up to us!!
Woooah
Huh!?
He's among us!?
Hyee
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Pag 7
1: He got here so smoothly!!
2: Eh!? Huh!?
He's beside us!?
So fast!
3: Ahead of us!? From there!?
4: So I was right
7: It's the small-fry meat!!
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Pag 8
2: Small!?
3: Small-fry!?
Meat?
4: He's talking about Sugimoto-san!!
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Pag 9
1: You want to touch me!?
2: Like you did last year, before the start
3: to Imaizumi!!
7: Touch you? No way...
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Pag 10
1: No way I'll ever touch such small-fry meat on purpose!!
Apaa!!
2: I understood it when I looked at you. Just your appearance is enough
It was the same last year, wasn't it? I barely glanced at you?
4: I'm only interested in touching
5: high-quality meat!!
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Pag 11
2: Ah, well
Ah, I was wrong. Just now, it was all... a lie. Please forget it
I always stumble when I'm nervous
3: Last year, too, with Imaizumi-san, and with Kuroda-san and Izumida-san too
5: What's with this guy....
As expected, I really can't guess what the Kyofushi guys are thinking...
6: Sugimoto-san!!
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Pag 12
1: There's no need to deal with this, with such a rude guy like this
Let's go ahead, only us
2: You're a second year, I saw it on the list!!
I'm a second year too!!
3: Lemme say it clearly, Sugimoto-san is a great guy!!
The people who look down on him, I won't...
4: Sugimoto-san
forgiv-
5: You... oi, I was talking!!
Kobayashi-san
Actually, I have-
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Pag 13
1: a question for you
2: A... question...!!
This is just right
I was told to ask
3: if I had the chance
4: Midosuji-san told me so
5: Midosuji....
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Pag 14
1: To me....!!
2: Oi, I'm talking to you!!
You sure are cheerful
Sugimoto-san is amazing!!
3: So, shall we prove it with a race?
You and me, here
4: You, with the eyes like a fallen acorn
5: Acor....
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Pag 15
1: Let's do it!!
Please do it, Kobayashi-san!!
Please stop, Kobayashi
Lemme do it, please!!
2: A race until that traffic mirror we can see over there!!
3: Oooooo
Stop, Kobayashi
4: We're going'
5: Really?
7: I'll show you what I can do!!
Stop, Kobayashi!!
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Pag 17
2: Huh!?
3: A hand!?
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Pag 18
1: Huh!?
2: Hu- waaaaaa
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Pag 19
3: Just now, something like a giant hands... was crushing!? Me.....?
5: I didn't stop him, did I?
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Pag 20
1: Just now I saw a giant hand....?
You too!?
Was it.... his pressure...? It was huge!!
2: I lost the race... just when I started running...!!
3: What an amazing pressure.... I can still feel the after-effect...
4: He's even stronger than last year!! This is this year's Kyofushi!!
5: Now
Again, can I ask you?
6: Earlier, I fell behind because of a flat tire
If
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Pag 21
1: the person who had gotten a flat tire on that difficult downhill had been Sohoku's Onoda Sakamichi
2: Would you have helped him?
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glowettee · 1 month ago
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study motivation notes | by mindy @glowettee
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hi angels! ✨ i've been getting so many sweet messages about staying motivated with studies, and i wanted to share my thoughts with all of you. as someone who dreams of becoming both a doctor and ceo (yes, we can do both!), i understand how overwhelming academic pressure can feel.
let me tell you something that changed everything for me: motivation isn't just about forcing yourself to study - it's about falling in love with your future. when i feel tired or discouraged, i close my eyes and imagine future me in a white coat, helping patients while running my own healthcare (or journaling + skincare) business(es).
this vision keeps me going even during the hardest days. the secret to staying motivated isn't just about having perfect study schedules or aesthetic notes (though i do love my pink highlighters and cute sticky notes!).
it's about understanding why you're doing this. my psychology studies have taught me that intrinsic motivation - the kind that comes from within - (i've talked about this before) is so much stronger than external pressure. i've noticed that on days when i feel completely unmotivated, it's usually because i've lost touch with my 'why'.
so i take a moment, light my favorite vanilla candle, and write in my journal about my dreams. sometimes i even create little vision boards on pinterest (my current one has hospital corridors next to business magazines - yes, i'm that girl!). here's something i've learned in my past ap psychology class: our brains love small wins. instead of thinking "i need to become a doctor," which feels huge and scary, i break it down into tiny goals. today's win might be understanding one biology concept really well, or finishing one chapter of my business studies. these little victories create dopamine releases that keep us motivated!
i've also discovered that environment matters so much. i created a cute study corner in my room with soft lighting, my favorite plushies, and inspirational quotes. when i sit there, my brain automatically goes into study mode. it's like my own little med school prep sanctuary! remember angels, it's okay to have bad days. sometimes i cry over calculus (literally me yesterday), and that's totally fine! the key is to be gentle with yourself while staying committed to your dreams.
i like to think of myself as both the student and the cheerleader - pushing myself forward but also offering comfort when things get tough. one thing that really helps me is connecting with others who share similar dreams. if it's my pre-med club friends or my business club besties, having people who understand your journey makes everything feel less lonely. we support each other, share resources, and sometimes just vent about how hard everything is (while eating cookies, of course!).
the path to achieving our dreams isn't always aesthetic study sessions and perfect grades. sometimes it's messy, sometimes it's hard, and sometimes it feels impossible. but, that's exactly what makes it beautiful. every challenge you overcome is shaping you into the amazing doctor, ceo, lawyer, content creator, or whatever you dream of becoming.
remember, you're not just studying for a test or a grade. you're building the foundation for a life where you'll help others, make a difference, and achieve things beyond your wildest dreams. every formula you learn, every concept you master, is a tiny step toward that future.
sending you all my love and motivation! believe in yourself the way i believe in you. ✨
always here for you, mindy 🤍
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wonysugar · 1 year ago
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Heyyy this is my first time requesting something
Imagine gamergf! Sakura, who is always gaming and doesn’t gives attention to reader, so one day reader sneaks into sakura’s gaming room and kneels in front of her, kkura doesn’t even notices her presence until she feels how now her pussy is exposed, reader who starts to eat her out while she’s playing, begging reader to stop overstimulating her
cw: somnophilia, cnc (boundaries discussed beforehand ofc), bondage and overstimming (so begging!)
sakura was exhausted as fuck... originally just getting on her computer and playing geometry dash to pass the time but having it being quickly turned into an intense gaming session, as per usual, her eyes glued to the screen until like what.. two am at this point? btw doing allat while only wearing a tank top and panties because let her live anyways moving on
she just cannot for the life of her pass this godforsaken level and she's sick of it; being an incredibly competitive person, she couldn't bare backing down. she was gonna pass that level, even if it took the whole night.
you, on the other hand, have been trying to get her attention throughout the whole day. look, you loved your girlfriend, she was loving, caring, everything you could possibly want. but one thing you knew she wasn't good with; giving you attention whenever she was focused on something else. if you tried texting her, she wouldn't even see the notif. if you tried coming in her room and starting a conversation, she would give back short responses. it was difficult, if not impossible.
long story short, you were incredibly needy, and you were ready to do anything to get her to pay attention to you.
the discouraging words "attempt 1553" displaying on her screen as it lit up the dark room that she was in, her eyes fighting what felt like an invisible force that was desperately trying to close them shut. throwing her head back, she sighed exasperatedly, almost dozing off. a small break wouldn't hurt, she told herself.
yeah no, no matter how hard she tried fighting her own drowsiness, the chair was so comfy, she couldn't help but eventually give up and close her eyes. she was eepy, if you will.
and eep did she do!
what she didn't know, though, is that she was sooo incredibly tired that she didn't even notice you walking into her room and strapping her to her chair. poor bby was just sooo tired and unaware. :((
when she went to rub her eyes, she quickly realized that her hands were restrained, she noticed you under her desk and immediately looked lost, what were you doing there? suddenly, she felt the slight vibration in between her legs, already giving her sleepy brain somewhat of an idea "mmh.. love..? w-what are you doing—"
"i'm gonna untie one of your hands so you can play and win this level, okay? if you don't, i'm not letting you cum, as simple as that. also, i unplugged your headphones; i wanna make sure you won’t be lying when you'll say that you won."
"couldn't we have just— mmh— done this in bed..?" she asks, stumbling on her words as she tried to keep her eyes open.
you scoffed at her words, mocking her "do you really think i'd go to this length if you actually paid attention to me throughout the day? you seemed soo committed to passing this level, i can't just take that away from you, can i?"
she furrowed her eyebrows in guilt as she looked down at you, avoiding your gaze once her eyes started tearing up. was it the drowsiness, the sudden culpability she felt when she figured out why you were doing this, or the pleasure her clit was throbbing for?
she didn't know, she felt like she didn't know anything at that moment.
you took away the vibrator to pull down her only piece of lower clothing, her underwear. upon taking it off, you watched as the slick of her cunt stuck to the fabric of her panties, smirking at the sight. looking up at her and noticing her hard nipples through her thin tanktop. she was barely even awake and she was already this needy for you?
"slut." you spit out, making her whine in the process.
after untying one of her hands, the rest of the night turns into you pressing your favorite vibrator against her clit as you ate her out, hearing her desperate moans and cries of pleasure mixed with the, quite frankly, unserious geometry dash music coming from her speakers as she desperately tried winning. and whenever her noises got louder and her breathing got heavier? you simply took away all the sensation from her, denying her orgasm as you made her twitch with anticipation as she whined..
and the need to constantly remind her, "keep your eyes on the screen and hand on the keyboard, i'm not gonna keep repeating myself, sakura." whenever she pathetically begged you to let her cum, staring at you as tears fell from her eyes, she was just so desperate to cum :((
eventually, after like, 3 hours, she managed to pass the level. holding onto your promise, you untied her limbs and ate her out, licking all of her folds and sucking on her clit until she finished all over your tongue and lips, gripping your head and pushing you closer to her wet core. you were certain that your neighbors would have a word with you the next day the way she was screaming out your name, blabbering sleepy nonsense as she came undone under your touch :((
long story short, she slept incredibly well after you carried her to bed that night. <3
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stesierra · 11 months ago
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I'm not doing very well, guys. I want to write but I've been so sick and tired for so long. This cold will never end. And I feel like I've lost what little audience I had on Tumblr because I haven't been able to post anything when my brain is mush because of baby. I'm just feeling really discouraged tonight.
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amplexadversary · 6 months ago
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Okay I've gleefully derailed posts before but this is a big derail and kind of dumb so I'm linking it.
When I watch the linked video, I end up thinking of Allenby gossiping about the shuffles, and now I need to headcanon who would likely say what bullshit.
-"I'm going to shit your pants." -> I could see this coming from a few people. Sai is a little fucker, he would make this threat and mean it. Chibodee would say it facetiously. Domon (while I headcanon him to be pretty good with languages) probably isn't above a gaffe where he means to say "I'm going to make you shit your pants," but misspeaks (probably when the guys are getting really rowdy and distracting and everybody's talking over each other.)
-"A duck the size of a tiger would have to be quite stout, I don't know that I could vanquish such a foe." -> George, though he'd choose different words than the video.
-"I'm all wet because Allenby dropped her phone in the river and I jumped in to get it. I can't find it though, can somebody call it while my head is underwater?" -> Domon would do this reflexively. Chibodee probably would as well.
-"I think it's time I come clean, I don't actually understand how wind works." -> Sai would be the funniest person to admit this, with his wind-based super move.
-"toodaloo, kangaroos" -> Domon, because someone told him it's a thing people say in English and he's kind of gullible.
-"Why the hell do we all have identical jackets? I can never find mine. Oh, but it's probably the one with my name on it though." -> while Domon or Chibodee would probably be the most likely to have this kind of brain fart, I think it's funnier if a very tired George says this (... ignore they fact that they don't have matching anything).
-On Monday Sai dared me to eat a spider, so I did. But then later that day I was running up the hill and shit my pants a little. I think those two things were related. -> I'd believe this from three of them in different contexts. Chibodee impulsively agreed to the challenge and admits this because hes mad about it. Argo ate the spider to humor Sai and is trying to discourage the rest of the group from making a similar mistake. Domon ate the spider because Kyoji didnt not have nearly enough chances to teach Domon to be weary of this exact kind of siblingeque horseshit, and we know from how he responds to Master Asia that Domon will just do things that you tell him to. He admits it, begrudgingly, because everybody wants to know why he bailed on them for several hours.
-"Do you guys think my shirt is cute? Too bad, I'm taking it off." "You're cute that way too." -> I could see George and Chibodee, in any order. Chibodee and Domon would only be believable if they're together, and with a massive time skip for them to get comfortable over.
-"My idol is that one dude who ate an entire airplane, love that guy, don't know his name." -> Argo, sarcastically, when Chibodee makes some remark about his physique and asks "what do you eat, sheet metal?"
-"Guys I think I watched the wrong Zootopia." -> Argo probably doesn't only pirate physical goods in the space age. He got a joke translation.
-"Domon, what type of feed does Fuunsaiki like, we want to make him a cake for his birthday." -> I feel like this is George and Argo's planning, and I could see either of them being the one to ask.
-[musing about Ice Age squirrel heteronormativity] -> I think Chibodee's the only one who could reasonably have seen it. He also dyes his hair two colors of the bisexual flag and wears the third so I can see him being annoyed by it.
-"I failed to locate a bear suit, does anybody have a spare bear suit?" -> Tbh this one could be any of them, except George, who is listening with his head in his hands.
-[quoting the infamous Snapcube Eggman rant] -> This is either Sai Saici, or Argo lost a bet to Sai Saici and was told to recite this. Sai is the only one of them I can buy being chronically online enough to reference this. Chibodee looks up Shadow and immediately asks Domon if it's his fursona, which backfires because the only other person in the room who knows what a furry is is Sai.
-"Why aren't you being silly? You promised you would be silly with me." -> ARGO. Said with a straight face to George. (Sai would be too low-hanging-fruit here, but I guarantee he's also looking at George expectantly. Admittedly, part of why I can see this coming from Argo is because of choices the dub made with how he speaks.)
-"Rain sent me this picture. I thought she was telling me that she was pregnant, but this is a covid test. She does have covid." -> Domon. Also worded a little differently than the original. While he did spend half his childhood in a jungle with Master Asia, he's probably seen pregnancy tests in drug stores when they have to make very occasional supply runs. Sai has probably also showed everyone the meme where people would edit a pregnancy test into various pictures.
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mari-thesapphic-lady · 3 months ago
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So I have this fun Agathario fic in the works where one of the concepts is a bunch of aus where Agatha x rio is canon but stayed together and stuff (minus two of them bcz that one is tragic and the other one is a wip) all meet with Agatha + teen from canon. One of the characters is Agatha + Rio’s kid from another universe, but instead of being Nicholas, her name is Nichole. Another is a Wanda Maximoff who was raised with Agatha and Rio, and another is a Tommy Maximoff who is best friends with Nicholas Scratch.
In other news I added Nichole to my fan au of ships that have children (tm) and form another avengers generation.
just wondering if you had any tips or tricks that would help me make that work out? I’ve written fanfic before but none so solely focused on multiple universes that vastly differ yet are all centralized around one thing.
scratch that I have but I never finished it and I want to finish this one-
Oh, that is, to say the least, extremely curious!
I've never been much of a multiverse person, I think that was one of the reasons I abandoned Marvel movies and series for a while.
One of the easiest things when writing different characters in different worlds is to get lost.
I don't really know what tip I can give, I'm not very good at it, but one thing is: keep centralize.
One of the things I like to do is make character sheets, I specify everything, I even write them down on post-its and stick them around my room.
When there's a lot of information, it can be a bit discouraging when writing, after all, too many ideas make you tired faster, at least that is what happens to me sometimes.
Try not to focus too much on details like face claims, locations, very elaborate things, at least not at first, and you can try to do a little trivia, it helps me a bit.
Creating an aesthetic for the character helps me a lot too! It can be a Pinterest board, a Spotify playlist, and I usually find it good to do these things before even starting to write the character.
One of the great things about the early stages of character development is that it's still a looser, less-formulated idea, so forming headcanons and creating contexts for them is much easier. As is changing these things later, due to a shift in perspective or a big, brilliant new idea during the creation phase. You just don't need to be sure of anything right away.
I don't think I have many ideas about the context of the New Avengers, since I've been so far away from the world of movies and series.
I'm going, actually, to rewatch (because I've barely seen) Hawkeye these days because I'm in love with the idea of the couple Yelena Belova and Kate Bishop!
But I must say that I found your idea quite creative! A bit too messy for me, but if you work more clearly like this, then that's how it's good.
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lantur · 3 months ago
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the good,
New Megan Thee Stallion and GloRilla albums this month were incredible. Combine that with the new Latto album and I really can't believe my three favorite women rappers came out with new music within weeks of each other. What are the chances?? Especially considering Megan and Glo already released new music earlier this year too.
Finished The Lost City of the Monkey God by Douglas Preston - such a good nonfiction book blending history, anthropology, archaeology, expedition, and epidemiology/public health. I loved it.
Finished Empire of Silence, Sun Eater Book #1, by Christopher Ruocchio, this week as well - such good sci-fi and I'm very interested in book two.
All grades for the first class of my MSW (master's in social work) program are in, and I got excellent grades on all of my writing. My professor was very kind encouraging about my work, and I loved the class.
I've been loving watching The IT Crowd with David. :)
I started my 605 class for my program and have been genuinely enjoying my readings so much.
the bad,
I think my days of heavy deadlifts (over 100 pounds/45 kg) are done. I pulled a muscle in my lower back deadlifting yesterday. It's my second such injury this year, despite stretching, correct form, and warming up with lighter weights before going into the heavier lifts. :(( I think it's going to take about a week to heal, which is the same thing that happened last time.
I got so wrapped up in assignments and reading for my 605 class (which I enjoy) that I accidentally missed 3 assignments for my 615 class (which I do not enjoy) that were due on Sunday night :/ I feel discouraged about it and need to catch up this week. Also worried about the volume of assignment due dates between both classes in November, especially because I'm also traveling for work from November 14 - 17.
Overall feeling tired and exasperated with many things related to work and people as well. I'm hoping to just give myself some grace and figure things out slowly with regard to all of it.
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johnschneiderblog · 4 months ago
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John Schneider, get lost!
These bogus posts on the Facebook links to my blog - befouling the space meant for sensible discourse - are really starting to piss me off.
Obviously these self-promotions, composed in perfect AI, are not coming directly from that other John Schneider; they're coming from a bot taking orders from an algorithm created to drive this John Schneider up a wall.
Apparently every time the name shows up online, this bot regurgitates its boilerplate reply.
You may have seen them:
"Thanks for your love, encouragement and support towards me and my career. kindly send me a direct message if you wish to say Hi" -John Schneider
Mr John Schneider finally created a private page recently so express your true feelings for him by sending him a direct message on Telegram application through the link 👇🏻 You might be lucky to get a response back from him just like I did. - John Schneider
I delete the comments and "report" them (whatever that means), but the moles keep rising from the muck. At first they were merely annoying, but now I'm beginning to suspect the fake posts may be discouraging legitimate comment.
I'll continue to whack them, hoping the bot will grow tired of the game at some point. Meanwhile, bear with me.
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moongeonight · 1 year ago
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Are you okay?
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Summary: Neville had just finished his potions class with Professor Snape and he is feeling quite useless and depressed by his horrible comments, Luckily for him, Hannah is there to help.
A/N: Here it is! I hope you like it anon!
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Neville was walking to his bedroom feeling utterly dejected after what Professor Snape had said today, He always had a hard time in that class, but today he felt like he was really getting it.
He had put in extra work over Christmas break, and he had come in that day feeling confident he might actually get a decent mark, But Professor Snape's harsh criticism of his potion had reduced him back to feeling foolish and useless.
Neville arrived at his common room, He wanted to curl up somewhere and be alone, but the common room was crowded with people playing games, talking loudly, and generally having a good time. He didn't want to interact with anyone. Instead, he looked around for a space somewhere in the room where he could sit and be alone. Luckily, he managed to find a seat alone in the corner by the fireplace.
he was there for a few minutes lost in his mind until he heard a voice.
"hey... are you okay...?" When he looked up, it was Hannah Abbott.
Neville jumped upon hearing her voice. He hadn't even realized there was anyone else around, But he looked up and saw Hannah, who was standing over him with a worried expression on her face. Neville's heart skipped a beat as he saw her looking at him, he felt butterflies every time he saw her, he didn't want her to see him in this state.
Neville quickly tried to compose himself, he wanted her to think of him as someone strong and confident, not some weak loser who would break down the second someone was hard on him, He tried to put on a smile.
"I...I'm fine...just...uhm...tired."
Hannah clearly doesn't feel very sure about this answer and tells him.
"can I sit here...?"
"Oh...y...yes of course..."
Neville feels relieved when he sees that Hannah wants to sit with him. He had felt pretty alone up until then, and it felt good to have someone sit here next to him, He smiles at her.
with the affirmation Hannah smiles back and sits next to him, which causes a rather warm silence.
Neville is not used to having Hannah this close to him, He can feel her warmth and the scent of her perfume mixed with the smell of the fire that is burning in the fireplace. He feels his face flush and his heart rate increase, He wants to say something to keep the conversation going, but he doesn't know what to say, Instead, he just sits quietly and smiles at her.
"So... Do you feel better, at least a little?" Hannah said with a somewhat worried tone.
Neville felt like he should lie and say he felt better, but he felt that it would be better to be honest with her, since she had noticed him looking upset in the first place.
"I...I... mean... I feel ok, but I'm just...uhm... a bit down about my potion result, I thought I was going to do well this time, but Professor Snape just made it worse, he made me feel horrible..."
"How horrible, seriously, Professor Snape is always so rude to you.." Hannah said with indignation.
Neville feels slightly reassured when she sympathizes with him like this.
"Y...yeah...I can't even count the number of times he's made me feel bad and discouraged. Sometimes I think he just hates me, he..."
Neville feels his throat tighten and he can't finish the sentence.
Seeing his sadness again, Hannah wrapped her arm around his waist to give him a half hug, she really wants to cheer him up, or at least distract him from his sadness a little... she had a little idea.
taking advantage of the fact that she has her hand around his waist, she begins to gently pinch his sides, tickling him.
Neville feels a warm, fuzzy sensation in his stomach when Hannah wraps her arm around his waist. He feels both the heat of her body next to his, and her hand grazing the small of his back.
Neville laughs and squirms around when he feels he being tickled, His sides are extremely ticklish, and he starts laughing uncontrollably.
"Wait...! S-stop... Hahahaha! you...you'll...k-kihihihill...me!!"
Hannah rolls her eyes slightly with a non-stop smile. "come on don't be so dramatic"
Neville tries to laugh off her comment, but he really was in an extremely ticklish place on his sides and she seems very intent on keeping it up.
"B-but I'm very sensihihitive...! Ahahaha!"
Neville is laughing so hard that he is barely able to get words out after a while.
"where? here?" She said with now a mischievous smile as she gently squeezed one of his ribs.
Neville lets out an involuntary 'eep!' at the squeeze, and his arms immediately goes up to cover his rib area.
"NO! AHAHAHA! I..I... I'm even more ticklish over thehehere..! dohohon't do it...! HAHAHA!"
Despite saying this, he feels his heart beating a little faster when she had her hand on his waist.
after a few seconds she had mercy and stopped, now patting him on the back. "heh I'm sorry maybe I got carried away, are you okay?"
Neville feels a little disappointed that she had stopped, He realizes just now how nice he felt with her hand on his side, He laughs nervously and tries to play off the whole situation.
'Y...yeah, yeah...I...I'm fine, I was just, just really ticklish I guess..."
"heh yes I can see that" she said laughing although then she calmed down a little.
"and... how do you feel now... You know... because of what happened before..."
Neville was silent for a moment and thought about the situation, it's true that... He still felt bad about what happened in that class, but... with Hannah here... maybe he had a reason to smile.
"Yeah... I'm fine now"
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im-jesus · 3 months ago
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Hey there (it's me! The one who sends you the bugs!) Here to ask something non-bug related. I have wildly different interests to a lot of my family (excluding one or two that I don't often see.) For example: my younger sister who likes musical theater, and heartstopper, and the dsmp while I like mystery stories, anime and vocaloid music (both of us like different things too, of course). Anyway, my main point is: is it wrong/selfish/rude of me to talk about my interests over dinner or something? I made a refrence to ddlc at dinner and no-one knew who she was, and when someone asked my sister said 'why would you ask her?' She does this a lot, she did it multiple times this dinner actually. I also explained vocaloids, and got into an argument with my uncle over whether or not they made valid music (as in, music that had emotions) but that's a whole other thing. The whole time I was debating she kept telling me to be quieter, and sighing whenever I added a new point, or explained something new, and advised my family not to engage in what I was saying lest I get exited and ramble I suppose. I think you can tell just from this that I ramble a lot, and go off on tangents so I suppose it's fairly valid(?). I feel like this happens a lot, people tell me "not everyone is in 'fandoms'/knows what you're talking about', and people normally make jokes about 'don't ask' when someone asks me about about something/engages with me while I'm exited about something. I really understand it must be annoying to have someone who's always talking about something you don't understand nor care about all the time, but I also don't notice I'm doing it sometimes (apparently I'm bad with social cues but at the same time I thought I was doing well when someone told me that but there have been other people who have said that too), and even when I do I want to talk about things that interest me, and I try to give other people a chance to talk too. I notice that what in saying normally gets talked over and when I stop talking mid sentence and no one notices, it makes me really sad, the same for when people get discouraged from talking to me. I feel like I'm sort of a mood killer sometimes, and that people don't want to be talking to me, which has probably become a bigger thing than nessecary from my pre-existing self esteem issues etc. I've sort of lost my tangent of thought by now, but basically that's it. I'm just getting tired of people constantly trying to shut me up, and advertising me as someone you need patience to talk to. I don't want to feel like I'm a liability, and someone to be out up with but that is how I feel. At the same time I understand where everyone is coming from and all, but I feel like if I stopped talking about things I care about I sort of would just fade into the background. So yeah thank you for reading this, have the best day, you really deserve it doing all this for everyone who sends you these asks
i'm sorry this took me more than a month to get to, love, my brain has been fucked recently and I wanted to do this at a time when i could answer properly.
there is nothing wrong with talking about your interests, babes. you're amazing and you're so cool and fun. you've spent the last few months educating me shamelessly, and i think that's brilliant. and let me tell you something as an autistic third child with 7 siblings: if they're not listening to you, they're not worth you talking to. i just found a person who i've discovered shares my political values to the letter and we can just rant to each other about it. this same person also listens to my most autistic rants, plus i spent a chunk of my evening yesterday freaking out with @sebs-out-of-spoons about the new HTTYD film trailer.
there's always going to be someone who wants to know, you just have to find them, love. you're going to be fine. i love you, and you are so amazing and so worthy of love. never stop talking <3
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tired-old-men · 9 months ago
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Dude where was this blog when I was 12? I was obsessed with the Brotherhood so much I had the whole family tree memorized. I would info dump at the drop of a hat. I would be so feral about these sad old men and no one- not my family, my friends, or even my dogs- understood what the FUCK I was even talking about so eventually I just shut up and stopped thinking about it. And then my dash is full of Knuckles and now I’m like *gasp* “THE SAD OLD MAN CLUB!” and then you are just here??? Talking about this thing that I literally thought no one except me cared about??? Hello??? Shall we have a spring wedding???
MY BROTHER IN ECHIDNA I FEEL YOU ON A METAPHYSICAL LEVEL!!! I have never connected so hard to an ask in my life. I was hella obsessed with these guys in my teens! I knew their family tree by heart, knew their lore inside and out, I doodled Edmund and Dimitri in my science notes in class constantly, shit these guys lived rent free in my brain with how much I daydreamed about them! I might have had like 3 people tops on deviantart at the time that I could even talk to about these guys, who actually knew who they were and even made art and content for them.
Then came a period of time I ended up leaving the sonic fandom entirely, probably a mixture of being made to feel discouraged in liking my interest from my offline peers and family (back when liking Sonic din't made you a cool kid but a target) as well as getting hyperfixated on other things I just... moved on sadly. It wasn't until last year I want to say, that I stumbled upon @julie-su's art and realized that it was made in recent year, that I got genuinely excited for these guys and the sonic fandom again. You can also imagine my subsequent heartbreak when I found out about the Ken Penders lawsuit and how all of these beloved characters ended up... But as the saying goes if you want something done right you gotta do it yourself! Got sad that there's no more art of these dudes time to make some! It's how I ended up coming back to tumblr and getting to meet more echidna loving individuals and honestly I wouldn't go back not one bit. I'm sad that I feel like I missed out on the Archie comic fandom era back when the comics were still publishing, but I'm glad to be making up some lost time by indulging in the grandpa gang with my online buds. I can't imagine my life without these sad old dudes living rent free in my mind, they keep me entertained, they make me laugh, and bring me much comfort. It makes me so happy to see fans of these guys and new content being made for them just get me so fucking excited and happy.
Most of the time making content for them seems like I am screaming into a void considering how obscure they can be. But in the end, I don't I think I have had more fun creating art and writing than when I started drawing them again. In a way I keep them alive in my memories through my works and that makes me happy. I know the few that know and love these characters also love to see them still around, and have been big inspirations for me to create my own stories and headcanons for these characters and I will forever be grateful for them enriching my life with their creativity. Always a delight to meet someone that loves these tired old men as much as me, your comment literally made my day! Thank you for being awesome and for even liking my works, It really means a lot to know theres still love out there for these characters. I'm always happy to chat with a fellow guardian fan so please don't be a stranger! Besides, we have to frolic down the hills of Angel Island in the eve of our honeymoon~
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Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person in the world who still remembers and loves CDs. Vinyl records have made a comeback and are now considered cool among certain varieties of hipster and audiophile, but CDs haven't had the same treatment.
And like, to some extent, I kinda understand that. CDs aren't cool. Records are cool. They're big and textured and elegant and they're objectively old enough to feel vintage rather than dated. They're not exactly durable but they make up for their fragility with their other positive qualities, and you could certainly argue that warping and scratches add exactly the kind of character to a record that we've lost with digital music and therefore crave from physical media. A slightly damaged CD pretty much always just becomes totally unplayable.
So I get it. And I'll readily admit that the biggest reason why I like CDs is simply that I grew up with them and have fond memories of them. But I do also think it's objectively true that there are certain positive features unique to CDs. I will never tire of the experience of giving and receiving mix CDs. You can't do that with a record. (I mean, I don't think you can? Not easily, at any rate.) And it's not the same as a playlist! It's not the same. When you make a mix CD, you not only curate the music for the recipient, you burn the disc, you decorate it, you make the sleeve or pick the jewel case and make the paper insert for it, figure out how to wrap/package it. I mean, obviously you don't have to do all of these things, but the opportunity is there for a lot of creativity and love. And in the end the person gets both the physical object as well as being able to make digital copies of the songs on their computer (which also allows them to use those songs in their future mix CDs, continuing the cycle!).
The mix CD is just so unpretentious, wholesome, and kind. It gave the average person unprecedented power over how music was curated and shared. (I mean, of course mix tapes did something similar, and maybe they deserve more credit than I give them, simply because they're from before my time; but I kind of have to assume that CD mixing is a much simpler and more efficient process.) The mix CD creates a loving context for experiencing music. Here, I made this! Special from me, for you! I think context is one of the things which we most desperately miss in this modern age, where we're fed our newest songs by the goddamn algorithm (whether that's Spotify, TikTok, YouTube, or whatever). The mix CD is personal, human, earnest and sweet.
(And yes, to some extent, playlists do this as well, and they have their own advantages. But I think the shareability of playlists, while making it possible for many more people to experience your creation, has ended up discouraging the intimate act of making something just for one other person and instead promotes the idea that what is most desirable is to have your work seen by the greatest possible number of people.)
I started thinking about this because I saw another post talking about the removal of CD/DVD drives from computers and it really does make me sad thinking that this may be the final nail in the coffin of the mix CD. I've had to depend on external disc drives to make my mixes, and I'm sure that for most people, CDs have passed totally out of their awareness.
I'm not saying the mix CD is the end all be all of sharing music. There are already lots of other ways to share music and I would quite like to think that we will continue to invent new ways. But I do find it very sad that the art of the mix CD is dying, and while the mix CD itself may be doomed, I really hope that we don't forget its virtues, and find a way to keep the spirit of the thing alive. Physical object as well as digital copies that can be shared with others, permanent ownership of the music (rather than just streaming/renting), the burning and reading of this object being cheap and accessible, personal touch/high customizability (not being limited simply to song order, a single cover image, and a short description), intimacy. These are what I don't want to lose.
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fandoms-in-law · 7 months ago
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Hockey Practice
Summary: After getting drafted into the hockey team instead of punished Annabelle expects practices to be similar to at other schools. She should have know that was wrong
Author's note: I'm tired and needed a day to just rest so this is what you get.
My idea for today was: St Trinians hockey classes -ways to cheat -ways to win -how to injure and avoid getting injured.
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When Cleaver drafter her into the Hockey team, Annabelle had assumed it would be pretty normal, similar to Cheltenham in terms of practice.
She should have known already that nothing at St Trinians would be predictable.
“We’ve got the new girl on the team now, so today we’re going back to basics and it’s beyond needed for some of you girls. Let’s start with avoiding injury. I don’t want you girls anywhere near each others sticks, shoving, shouldering, that’s all fine but I know how you modify those things and they aren’t for friendly fire. Use them against opponents but not our girls.”
Annabelle did not know what modifications were meant or why the actions she’d expected to be discouraged were seen as the better options but she got the message. “Dodge when someone goes to headbutt you as well.”
“Fritton? You got something to say?” Cleaver demanded, hearing her mutter.
“Went to Cheltenham before, Verity Thwaites headbutts the other team to weaken them, audience included. Dodging that move is necessary.” She said a little louder, aware that the girls were still viewing her badly.
Cleaver nodded. “Good thinking, if we get intel on other schools we use it.”
Nothing prepared her for the next action of this practice to be bringing a test dummy into the changing rooms with targets marked over it. “So here are where we want to hit and avoid getting hit by each other or the other team.” Cleaver began, slapping a new target to the forehead of the dummy.
/\/\
Annabelle thought she knew what to expect at the next hockey practice when they actually got onto the pitch. “Today is target practice, something I know Fritton has no difficulties in but the rest of you lack immensely.” Cleaver began, throwing hoops across the pitch ahead of where several test dummies were stood around. “We don’t want to call the ambulances often so no head shots. Get to work.”
The rest of the team scrambled to grab balls and start hitting them in any direction.
“You’re not going to do any damage hitting things every which way. Aim Girls! Aim!” Cleaver called out.
Deciding to just do her best to practice with the instructions given, Annabelle did pick up a ball and start aiming for the hoops, but after the third time of another girl hitting the ball she’d been about to, the test dummies were her aim and she was going to incapacitate them.
“Good work Fritton! Jones, take note of her aim. You need to work on it.” Cleaver yelled over.
/\/\
“Bertha is here to go over the rules, how to follow them and what counts as a foul.” Cleaver called out, interrupting a practice that Annabelle had completely lost track over what she was meant to be practising. She’d taken to just running laps when that happened to avoid getting injured by one of the other girl.
“So we can come up with how to break them without getting called on it.” Kelly murmured, just behind her.
Taylor laughed, “First step, get a ref that doesn’t know the rules.”
“Umpires you mean.” Annabelle checked, not really expecting a response since the team disregarded basically everything else about the game. She was pretty sure it was the school sport entirely because it allowed weapons to be brought in and other schools would agree to play matches with them in hockey, although calling hockey sticks weapons hadn’t made entire sense before she joined the team.
/\/\
They won the match and somehow the girls seemed to be accepting Annabelle more now.
It had been quite something to go against Cheltenham and realise that they broke the rules almost as much as St Trinians but in other ways, worse ways considering Thwaites had injured a student that wasn’t even playing.
“Good game, girls. Putting those practises to good use.” Cleaver said but was barely heard by the cheers and girls getting a party started.
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